“Are you sure,” he asks, “or are you still worrying that Sean will find out?”
“I’m sure.”
He looks at me doubtfully. He clenches his fingers slightly, and I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he imagining his hands on me? Is he thinking about laying me down on that gigantic bed and making me his wife in that final, undeniable way? The image runs through my head, and my thighs clench.
Deklan presses his lips together and starts to shake his head. He’s going to refuse, and I suddenly don’t want that to happen.
“Really,” I say quickly, hoping to sound more convincing, “I’m sure. Please. I…I want to.”
Deklan glances away and closes his eyes for a moment. His body goes tense. I don’t understand his frustrated look.
“Come here,” he says softly as he reaches toward me.
He takes my hand and leads me over to the bed. We both sit at the end, and he turns to look at me. I can’t meet his eyes, so I look at my hands instead. He won’t have any of that, though. He places his hand under my chin and turns me to look at him.
“You know what I am…what I do.” It’s a statement, not a question. I don’t know the specifics of the job, but the image of Deklan holding a gun to my father’s head flashes through my mind. I nod quickly, and Deklan’s eyes soften slightly. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Deklan stares into my eyes with intensity, his pupils dilated. I have no idea how to respond to his statement; I don’t even know what he means. He won’t hurt me right this second? He won’t hurt me when he fucks me? Or does he actually mean he’s going to be merciful and wait to kill me in my sleep so I won’t feel anything?
“I know you’re scared,” he says.
“I’m not.” I don’t even sound convincing to myself.
“I know you are,” he says again. He releases my chin and sighs. “You have every right to be scared. This whole situation is…is…fucked up.”
I can’t argue with the sentiment.
“But I’m not going to hurt you.”
I nod though I’m still not sure I believe it. Deklan looks back at me.
“Stand up,” he says as he takes my hand in his and pulls lightly.
I do as he asks, and he pulls me around until I’m standing in front of him. With him sitting on the bed and me standing, we are just about at eye level. He watches me as he reaches to his waistline and pulls off the plain white T-shirt, and I’m staring at his naked chest.
Every muscle is outlined. He’s got an eight-pack for abs instead of the usual six. His shoulders and arms are huge. They look like they could crush a man without any effort at all. There’s a long, thin scar near his shoulder.
I look back to his face, and his blue eyes have a softer look about them. For the first time, I find myself really looking at him. His cheekbones are high, his jaw strong, and his nose perfectly straight. His dark hair is cut short, nearly military style, and contrasts sharply with his skin. The calm displayed in his eyes has changed his appearance completely, and I feel some of my fear slip away.
I watch as he drops his gaze from my face to my body, feeling heat rise to my skin as he looks down to my feet and then back to my eyes.
“You’re a beautiful girl,” he says, and I glance away, embarrassed by his words. Deklan reaches up and touches my shoulder before slowly tracing his fingers down my arm and gripping my hand until I look back at him.
He takes my hand and places it on his chest, right above his heart, never taking his eyes off mine. I take in a long breath, wondering why my heart is beating so quickly. He doesn’t speak. He just holds my hand against his skin until I move my thumb back and forth, running it along the curve of his pectoral, and a shiver courses through my body.
He’s so warm. I can’t believe how soft his skin is, considering the hard, external appearance he’s displayed before. I can feel his heart beating under my palm, and my head swims.
Deklan reaches up to my hips and steadies me. I didn’t even realize I was swaying. He moves his hands up and down my sides, and I tense.
“Relax,” he says quietly.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“You can do whatever you want, as far as I’m concerned.”
“But…what am I supposed to do?”
He smiles gently.