“Did you get these when we were having sex? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit, Kera,” Deklan mumbles. “I didn’t know I grabbed you that tight.”
“Neither did I.” I press my cheek against his shirt. “They don’t hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I say as I look back up at him. “Now, will you please go back to the subject at hand? I don’t understand why you can’t do anything about that man.”
“I know you don’t.” Deklan sighs. “You don’t know who he is.”
“Then tell me.”
“He’s the king of hitmen, and probably one of the deadliest men in the world. There’s always a bounty on his head, and he’s probably had a hundred attempts on his life. Do you know what happened to every one of them? They’re dead, Kera. Every fucking one of them is dead. This guy—he’s the real deal, Kera. I…I brought him here because Sean wants something done that’s out of my league, and Arden is a vicious killer with no qualms about what he does.”
“And you have qualms?”
“Yeah, Kera, a lot of them,” Deklan says. I can feel the tension in his muscles, everywhere we touch. “I’m successful in my job because of how I look. I have size and what is a somewhat undeserved reputation. More times than not, a simple threat is all that’s needed. I rarely have to resort to actual violence.”
“But you have.” I remember the bloody shirt in the bathroom. “You can if you need to. You could go after him.”
“Arden works with one of the most powerful organizations in Chicago. Crossing them is suicide, and he practically runs the damn place. They are far larger than the Foley operation. They have informants everywhere, and if he got wind that I was looking for him, I’d have a bullet in my head without ever knowing where it came from.”
“You’d just have to shoot first,” I say, but my stomach is knotting up. I have no idea what I’m talking about, and we both know it.
“It’s not that easy, Kera,” Deklan says. “I would never get close enough to him. I’d never get a shot off. I’d be dead, and where would that leave you? He might very well decide to take you out as well, just for good measure. How am I supposed to protect you if I’m gone?”
“We witnessed what he did,” I say. “What if he’s already planning to get rid of us?”
“He’s not.”
“How do you know?”
“Because”—Deklan huffs through his nose—“because I’ve talked to him.”
This is news to me, and I’m not happy about it. Kathy is gone, and Deklan is conversing with the man who killed her. I grit my teeth.
“When?” The word leaves my mouth sounding like snarl.
“As soon as I was released. I wanted to know what the hell he was thinking, and when he explained…” As Deklan’s voice trails off, he hugs me and kisses the top of my head before he continues. “He thought she was going to shoot me. He didn’t know who either of you were and reacted only to what he saw. He thought…well, he thought he had my back. His intent was to protect me, showing me that he could do the job we need him to do.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, I know it doesn’t.” Deklan shifts his position and takes my face in his hands. “I’d do anything for you, Kera—really, I would—but I have to balance that with your safety. Going after Arden is beyond risky, and I can’t risk you.”
I pull my face from his hands and lay back down on his chest. I want to yell and scream at him—tell him I’ll leave him if he doesn’t do what I want—but it’s futile. My position hasn’t changed. Though I don’t believe that Deklan would hurt me, I still have nowhere to go. Besides, nothing he does will bring Kathy back.
My head is still pounding, so I focus on the pain. I just want to be numb. I want my mind to go blank, but it’s not cooperating.
Deklan leans back against the pillow and holds me as he starts stroking my wrist again. I get an odd sense of déjà vu, but it only lasts a second. As he rubs, and I relax against him, I’m reminded of the other times he’s done this, starting with our wedding.
“Why do you do that?” I ask.
“What?”
“Rub my wrist. You always rub my wrist.”