“Shh, shh, shh,” Aiden cooed. He cupped my face with his hand and began to kiss me, over and over again like he was slowly and gently devouring me. “Don’t cry. Fuck, don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I tightened my grip on the back of his head and kissed him harder.
He went with it for a moment and then pulled back.
“I didn’t…I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No.” I shook my head.
“What is it then, Chloe? What’s wrong?”
“I’m just…I’m scared!”
“Scared of what?”
Everything I had been thinking and feeling consumed me, overwhelmed my mind and my senses. My vision blurred with an abrupt onset of tears.
“I’m scared of you!”
And with that, I began to sob.
ELEVEN
Aiden rolled to his side and held me against his chest while I cried. I didn’t understand what was going on inside of me; I just knew I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and my emotions were completely out of control.
I’d loved every second of what he had done to me.
That was what scared me.
Deep inside of me, the alarms were still going off. I felt as if I was still falling from the plane before the parachute opened, when everything was still uncertain. I could practically see the ground getting closer and closer as I fell, and this time there wasn’t a parachute.
I’d let him come in me.
Twice.
Unprotected sex.
My mother had given me various versions of “the talk” during my childhood and teenaged years. She covered the basics, warned me off of sex altogether until I was older, and then ultimately counseled me on becoming sexually active. There were plenty of rules about making sure it was with the right person, the right situation, and not allowing someone to take advantage of me. Above all others, there was one major rule—use birth control.
I’d failed on multiple counts.
As my sobs dwindled, Aiden kissed the top of my head, hugged me close, and then placed his finger on my chin to lift my face to him.
“You're scared of me?”
“Yes.” I sniffled.
“Why?” His voice was a whisper, his expression pained.
“I hardly know anything about you.”
“I hardly know anything about you, either,” he replied. “What are you scared of?”
How could I even put it into words? It wasn’t just that he could have gotten me pregnant, which was enough by itself, but something far greater. It was everything he had made me feel, everything he made me want.
I’m only going to be here for three more days.
“Chloe, what do you think I’d do?” Aiden asked when I hadn’t answered him.