I shrugged.
“It’s not like I think he’s there or that he’ll answer me or anything,” I clarified. “We were close, and sometimes I just want to talk to him.”
“Don’t you end up just thinking about him all the time then?” Aiden asked.
“Sometimes. It’s taken me a while to get there, but I’m not sad when I think about him anymore. I still miss him, but the good memories outweigh the bad.”
Aiden pondered as he stared up at the ceiling. He took a deep breath, and I watched his chest rise and fall.
“Why did you get this tattoo?” I asked as I traced the letters on his chest.
“It was the first one I got,” he said. “I wanted…I thought I needed to…”
His voice trailed off as he let out a big sigh.
“He didn’t get a grave. We only had enough money to have him cremated, but not buried. Mom still has his ashes. I just thought he needed a marker somewhere, so that’s where I put it.”
I lay my head down on his shoulder.
“That’s actually kind of beautiful,” I said.
He shrugged and looked at my face.
“I never talk about this shit,” he said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“I don’t want to think about him,” he said. “I live in the now. I don’t want the reminder of what isn’t there anymore.”
“You can’t avoid it forever,” I said.
“It’s working so far.” His voice was flat and a little stern, as if he were trying to put an end to the conversation.
“Is it?” I questioned.
I reached up and placed my hand against his rough cheek, turning him to face me.
“There’s room for both, Aiden,” I said. “Our past brought us to where we are now. If we ignore part of it, we are ignoring part of ourselves.”
He blinked his eyes slowly as he looked at me but refused to comment.
And with that, I knew we both had something to learn.
TWELVE
Unlike the first couple of days full of adventurous, outdoor activities, Aiden and I spent the next two creating indoor adventures of our own as the rain continued to pour down. There wasn’t a piece of furniture in the house we hadn’t utilized. We’d even had sex on the kitchen counter, some of the sturdier boxes lying around, and the weight bench in Aiden’s workout room. He wasn’t lying about covering me in cum, either. Eventually, I insisted we run out to the store for a box of wet-wipes.
For better or worse, there wasn’t a lot of time left over to talk.
Friday night, the rain finally stopped, and Aiden grilled shark steaks out on the patio. He topped off dinner with sweet potatoes and seasoned green beans that were to die for. He even made sweet iced tea to wash it all down.
We sat outside, watched beachcombers, and listened to the waves as we ate. When we were done, Aiden insisted I relax as he did the dishes. I sat back in the patio chair with a smile on my face and closed my eyes until he joined me back outside.
“Okay,” Aiden said as he sat back down. “Now that I’ve buttered you up with food, I have a question for you, a request, rather.”
“What’s that?”
“How would you feel about going to a party tonight?”