Chapter 1—My Life is a Mess
“Oh shit, shit, shit.”
The impact of the car behind me slamming into my bumper was brief but intense. Even after the shaking stopped, I could still feel the vibrations running through my body. Every muscle was tensed, and my brain was on overload.
A car accident. I’ve been in a car accident.
Bile crept up the back of my throat. My hands slid down the steering wheel slowly, leaving cold sweat from my palms on the faux leather wrapping. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, wondering if there was any way I could possibly get through this without having a major panic attack.
Unlikely.
I had a hard enough time when something was slightly out of my normal routine. For that reason, my uncle had gone over possible crisis situations with me in the past, and a car accident was one of them. I just needed to remind myself what to do.
Make sure everyone is okay, and call 911 if someone is hurt.
Was I hurt? Was the person behind me hurt?
Taking mental note of my body, I realized I was physically fine—shaken up, but fine. I didn’t know about the person or people behind me. I would have to get out of the car to figure that out. The problem was, I couldn’t move.
Did the car still work? The engine hummed beneath the hood, and I figured the car was probably still drivable, so that answered that question. The impact hadn’t been that hard. Since I didn’t appear to be hurt, the person or people behind me might also be all right. Maybe there wasn’t any damage to the car. Maybe I would survive this after all.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I reached over my lap and unbuckled my seatbelt. I wrapped my fingers around the door handle and focused on tensing my fingers enough to release the latch. I pushed the door open. My body remained tense as I slowly forced myself out of the car.
Make sure everyone is okay. Check for damage. You can do this.
“Dude, what the fuck?”
Startling at the sound, I glanced toward a blond guy with a ratty mullet pulled back into a ponytail. His lips were curled up into a snarl.
“Yellow doesn’t mean stop, you idiot!” He crossed his arms and puffed out his chest.
The man’s obvious aggravation at the situation should have sent me into a curled-up ball, but the absurdity of his claim grabbed my attention. For a moment, I forgot his belligerent manner and remembered the words in the driving manual I was given to study for my test.
“Illumination of the yellow or amber light denotes, if safe to do so, prepare to stop short of the intersection.” My chin quivered and my eyes remained on the ground as I spoke the memorized words as if I were on autopilot. “I had time to stop. I can’t afford to get a citation.”
“Citation?” The blond guy threw his hands up into the air and leaned toward me. “You mean a ticket? You don’t get a fucking ticket for going.”
His words didn’t make any sense at all. There was nothing in the law that said he couldn’t be cited for such an offense. He could. I studied thoroughly for the written portion of my driving test. If the light had been red, surely he would have thought running it was reason for a ticket. I continued to stare at the ground near his feet, trying to will myself to make eye contact, but I only managed to blink rapidly.
The guy tapped his foot as I looked over at the rear bumper of my car. The damage wasn’t all that bad, but it was dented on one side, and now it was completely asymmetrical. In my chest, I could feel the panic rising again. I tried to swallow it down.
I needed to keep myself together. The man wasn’t hurt. There was no one else in his car, and the damage was minimal.
I can do this.