“What?” I narrowed my eyes and looked at her sideways.
“Matthew…how can I put this?” Mayra took in a long breath and breathed it out again slowly. “You are gorgeous. Every girl in our school thinks so, and I am going to be the envy of half the population of Talawanda High School.”
I was reminded of what Bethany had shown me on her Facebook page, but we pulled into the school parking lot before we could really talk about it anymore. I felt my heart start to beat a little faster as we pulled into a parking spot and Mayra turned off the ignition.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“No,” I said bluntly.
“Are you as ready as you will ever be?” she pressed.
“Probably.”
“Okay, then!” Mayra took off her seatbelt while I remained still, trying to take a lot of calming breaths. I could see her gathering up her book bag to hoist it over her shoulder, but I still didn’t move.
I felt her touch against my arm as she began to speak softly.
“We don’t have to hold hands,” she said quietly. “We can just walk in like we usually do if you aren’t ready. I don’t want to push you too hard. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I responded. I thought about it for a moment, and Mayra waited patiently for me to continue. “I want to walk in with you. I want everyone to know we’re together. I just…I don’t like people looking at me, and they’re going to look at me.”
“We can wait until tomorrow.”
I glanced over at her and then looked out the window.
“Would it be any different then?”
“Probably not.”
“I guess we should just do it today, then.”
Mayra opened her door, walked around to my side of the car, and waited for me to get out. I poked the fish shape twice—it had definitely become a habit, and I couldn’t even say why—before I climbed out and tentatively wrapped her fingers with mine. With a quick look to her eyes and a big sigh, we started toward the front entrance, hand in hand.
Mayra leaned a little closer to me as a few of the kids in the swarm of students actually stopped and stared. I kept my eyes to the ground, but I could still feel their gazes as they lingered on our clasped hands. Mayra held her head high with a smile on her face, but I just kept my head down and tried to move quickly.
Once we got to my locker, I felt like I could let go of the breath I was holding. At this point, most of the kids were either whispering in little groups or trying to look nonchalant as they walked close enough to overhear us talking to each other.
“How are you doing?” Mayra asked in a hushed tone.
“Okay, I guess,” I replied. I didn’t sound very convincing. “They’re all talking about us.”
“Not everyone,” Mayra said with a nod over my shoulder. I glanced back to see one guy banging at his combination lock as he tried to get it open. While I was looking, he turned his eyes to us, and his mouth dropped open.
“Well, he’ll probably start now,” Mayra said with a sigh.
I turned my attention to my locker’s contents, made sure everything was in its proper place, and straightened things up a bit just to be doubly sure. The act relaxed me a little, and when I straightened back up with the folders and books I needed for my first two classes, I saw Mayra’s smiling face.
“You are doing wonderfully,” she said through her smile. “I’m proud of you.”
I couldn’t help but smile back, and though I couldn’t find any words to tell her how much her encouragement meant to me, I tried to hold her gaze a little longer to show her how I felt. She seemed to notice, and her hands squeezed mine briefly before she stood up on her tiptoes and touched my cheek with her lips.
“Every girl here is so jealous of me right now,” she whispered into my ear. “I can practically hear it in their footsteps. In time, you are going to show everyone how awesome you really are.”
“I’m not convinced of that,” I replied, glancing into her brown eyes again. I looked back to the folders I was holding and let go of her hand long enough to run my fingers through my hair. “I’m not sure you realize how big a pain in the ass I can be.”
Mayra laughed as she placed her hand on my arm.
“Oh, don’t be so certain,” she said with wide grin, which I returned. She gave me another quick kiss before releasing my arm and heading down the hall to her first class.