The warmth came from somewhere else.
As I sat on my bed and held her close to me, I knew what it was. It was different than what I felt for my parents or Megan, Travis or Bethany—more intense, tangible, and undeniable.
“I love you,”
I said aloud as the realization came into my head.
Mayra went completely still, and for a moment, I was sure I had fucked up in some kind of major way, but I wasn’t sure how. Expressing anything was often uncomfortable and strange, but expressing emotion was more difficult than talking about anything else. It was too abstract, too conceptual. What if someone asked me why? Or wanted further explanation or description, and I couldn’t supply one?
I was starting to wish I hadn’t said anything and was even thinking about how I could take it back or make it sound like I had said something else or even how quickly I could retrieve my pillow and hide when Mayra spoke.
“Do you mean that?” she asked. “You’re not just saying that because I got you off?”
I knew I had screwed something up. Something in one of the books said declaring love right after orgasm was rarely seen as sincere. I took a deep breath and raised my head to look into her eyes for a moment.
“I mean it,” I said emphatically. “You…what you’ve done for me…you…you’re…you’re everything to me. Everything good in my life is about you. You make me want to try harder and do things I never would have considered before, and I know even if I fail, you’ll still be there to help me get back up afterwards.”
I had to look away, and it was very difficult not to go back to staring at her breasts again.
“I will,” Mayra promised. “I’ll always be there to help you. I love you, too.”
“You do?” I looked at her and tried to figure out if she meant it or if it was the kind of thing you just said because someone else said it first. As soon as our eyes met, I knew she was serious. Hers were too dark, too intense for anything other than the absolute truth, and the nod of her head was just redundant.
“You’re my hero,” she said quietly as she looked into my eyes. I had to look away—the intensity of her eyes and everything boiling around inside of me was too much.
“You’re my heroine.” I nestled once more against her throat.
Within minutes, we were kissing and touching again. Mouths on mouths, skin against skin. For a while she was on top of me, straddling my waist and kissing down my chest. It was intense and wonderful. We rolled, enjoying the freedom of movement the bed allowed, and I gave her breasts more attention before moving down her stomach.
My mouth brushed slowly and lightly over her skin as I kissed across the edge of her jeans. I had to stop and inhale frequently because the scent of her was different here—deep, musky, and raw. It was addictive, and every time I inhaled, my cock responded.
Mayra reached down and unbuttoned her jeans. She nodded to me, and I slowly pulled them over her legs, leaving her pink panties in place. I couldn’t look back at her face, so I stared at her bare legs and swallowed a few times to try to get myself together.
I wasn’t sure where this was going. I wasn’t sure where I wanted it to go.
Actually, that wasn’t true. I knew what I wanted to do, but it scared the shit out of me.
With my jeans still unbuttoned and unzipped, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as it often was when I was with Mayra or thought about her a little too much. My dick bulged out between the teeth of the zipper but at least stayed inside my boxers. When I moved back up Mayra’s body to catch her mouth with mine, my erection rubbed deliciously against her thigh.
Mayra moaned, so I rubbed against her thigh again.
She placed her fingers under my jaw and tilted my head to hers. She met me with parted lips and searching tongue. As she kissed me, she shifted her hips underneath me, which caused my cock to move from the top of her thigh to between her legs.
Her panties were still on, but I felt the heat from her center. It kind of felt like it does when you walk up to a bonfire on a cool night, when the front part of you is suddenly very hot, but your back stays cool. While my dick felt like it could catch fire at any moment, the rest of me went cold.
There was nothing keeping us from having sex except Mayra’s thin satin panties. If I pushed those down, I could be inside of her in a matter of seconds. Was I ready to do this? Was she? I knew she thought she was, but I still had my doubts for both of us. I fought against impending panic.
Then I realized we really couldn’t.
“Mayra…I don’t…I mean, I don’t have any condoms or anything like that.”
“I’m on the pill,” she said softly, and I had to look up at her eyes to see if she was still teasing me. She nodded. “I just started taking them after…um…after my last period. It’s been long enough that I should be protected.”
“Should?” I really didn’t like that word all of a sudden.
She shrugged.
“It’s never a hundred percent,” she said, “but it’s about as good as it gets.”