“Too bright?”
I swallow hard, unable to even nod in response. I try to take a few deep breaths, but my lungs hurt.
“Okay.” Casey shifts her weight a little. “Don’t worry about that. Where were you before then?”
“With my parents.”
“Did something happen to them?”
“Um...I’m not sure.” I feel my hands start to shake.
“Not sure?”
“They just, um...one day, they didn’t come back.”
Casey is quiet for a minute, and I know I need to clarify, but I still haven’t found the words, and I feel my throat constricting.
“They abandoned you?”
“I don’t know. They just...didn’t come back. Maybe...maybe they died.”
“How could they die and you not know about it?”
“I couldn’t remember.” My knees quiver. “They kept asking me, but I wasn’t sure.”
“Who asked you?”
“The police. They asked me a lot of questions, but I didn’t know how to answer them.” A knot forms in my stomach and begins to branch out. My arms and legs are shaking now even as Casey tries to hold me tighter.
“Rocco, I think I got lost somewhere in there. Why were the police talking to you?”
“They wanted to know where my parents were, but I didn’t know.”
“Did someone report them for leaving you? Like, your school or something? A neighbor?”
I freeze up. I know her questions are normal, but how am I supposed to explain, at that time, I had never been to a school, I didn’t have neighbors in the traditional sense, and that I was only found when the police raided the site?
I squeeze my eyes shut, but the visions are still there in my head—deep darkness and near silence suddenly interrupted by shouting and bright lights. More people than I had ever seen descended on my hiding spot and hauled me out. I could hear Mamaw screaming and crying as they hauled her to her feet. She yelled my name as someone approached me, light flashing in my eyes before I had a chance to pull the rough, woven blanket up over my head again.
And then, just a few moments later, a light that made my skin and eyes burn.
“It’s okay, Roc. I got you. It’s okay.”
My whole body is shaking as Casey rocks me back and forth in her arms. My tongue feels like it’s expanding and blocking my throat. I can’t see. I can’t breathe.
“You can tell me—”
My muscles clench. I try to open my mouth again, but my jaw is too tight. I can barely move, and as much as I want to reciprocate, I can’t talk to Casey about this. I can’t talk at all.
I’m too fucked up. Too fucked up for her. I’m too fucked up to even deal with myself.
I break my arms apart, flinging her hands away from me as I jump up. I barely have the sense to grab my pants and yank them up my legs before I rush out of the private space in the back of the dungeon and head toward the stairs. The exit is just below me, and I need to get out of here.
Too fucked up. Just too fucked up.
I feel the bass of a loud industrial song vibrating the floor as I step onto the cold concrete. Just as I reach the top of the stairs, over the loud, pumping music, I hear someone calling my name.
“Rocco? Rocco—stop!”