“He’s gone, Matt. He’s gone.”
“No!” the younger Reid shouted, the sobs in his voice breaking my heart all over again. “He can’t be. He can’t be, Bash.”
“He is.” Bash kept his arms around Matt, not letting go for fear of the other man doing something stupid, and to comfort him.
“I’ll gut those motherfuckers!” Matt roared. “I’ll gut them all!”
“We’ll get them. I swear to you, we will get every last one of them.”
Chapter 28
Raider
The spray of the shower was washing away the soot and ash from my skin, but it couldn’t wash away the pain and rage that had invaded my soul when the blast of the bomb had stolen two of my MC brothers.
The whole thing kept replaying over and over in my head.
I had opened the front door, but at the last second, Raven had yelled at me, making me stick my head back into the clubhouse. She had asked for some toy that Max apparently couldn’t stop whining for, and I had promised I would get it. Then I had turned, letting the door slam behind me.
Tanner and Warden had already been in the truck. Seeing me coming, Tanner had started the truck, but it had stalled.
Tanner had snapped his head up, just as my stomach had bottomed out. It was the look on my friend’s face, the acceptance of what was about to happen that killed me. He had known the truck was about to blow up, we both did, but it was too late. There was no way anyone could have saved him or Warden.
When the blast came, it felt like it had rocked the world on its axis. It had tossed me back against the door of the clubhouse, shattering the windows of the vehicles closest to the truck and the clubhouse. The heat of the flames had been scalding; the smell of smoke, gas, and the haunting scent of burning flesh strong enough to make anyone gag.
With my next breath, I had known they were gone.
Fingers, rough from hard work, touched my back, pulling me back to the present. Quinn wrapped her arms around me from behind, pressing her face into my back.
Swallowing hard, I covered her hands that were locked around me under my navel.
Neither of us spoke. There was no need for words right then. We had both lost vital parts of our family today. We were both grieving.
The water continued to stream over me, and after a few minutes, Quinn picked up my body wash. She poured some into her hand, and then began to wash my back. As her fingers moved over my skin, they pressed into my tense muscles, massaging.
Despite all the pain my soul was in right then, my body came alive. My dick thickened, lengthening even more, wanting Quinn with a need that became a physical pain.
She gripped my elbow, urging me to turn so she could wash my front. When I moved, showing her exactly what was going on with my body at her touch, a soft gasp left her. Biting into her bottom lip, she gingerly touched her soapy fingers to the tip.
“Last time … it hurt,” she murmured.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean for you to feel pain.” I tipped her head up with my thumb. “You were my first virgin, and I didn’t know what to do with that.”
Her eyes widened. “I was your first …” A small smile tilted up at the corners of her mouth. “I like that I could be your first for at least one thing.”
I bent my head and brushed my lips over hers, tenderly, not wanting to scare her off. I had made her a promise, and even though my body was throbbing to the beat of my heart right then, I wasn’t about to break it. “Sweetheart, you are my first in a lot of things. My first virgin. My first love. But what you should be thinking about is that you are my last … and my only.” Confusion filled those baby blues. “My last lover. My last love. And the only woman to ever own my heart.”
“Raider,” she breathed my name. “I …”
“I love you, Quinn.” I kissed her again. “That’s not going to stop … ever.”
Her exhale brushed across my lips. “I love you, too.”
Everything in me went completely still, as if every muscle and cell were afraid to move in fear of scaring her off and changing her mind. “What did you say?”
“I love you,” she repeated, and while those words didn’t completely ease the ache in my soul, it fed it with the love I had been scared I had killed in her. “I have always loved you, even before I knew what that word meant. I love you more than I love myself.”
I gripped the back of her neck, tangling my fingers in her wet hair as the shower continued to pour over us. “It’s the same with me, sweetheart. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. That’s why it took so long for me to admit to myself that you were mine. I don’t like strong emotions, don’t want them to rule me, but with you, it’s different. I just needed a little extra time to realize that.”