Chapter 8
Jos
I made it as far as the lobby downstairs before someone grabbed me from behind. I squealed before Jet’s voice reached my ears.
“Easy there, girl,” he grunted, covering my mouth with one of his hands. “No use in causing a scene. You want to go home or not?”
I bit into his palm, making him curse and drop his hand. Glaring up at him, I walked around him toward the entrance of the hospital. “That isn’t my home.” But it was now. Grandpa was dead, so someone had to run the business.
“Whatever, Miss Bitchy Pants. You want a ride, or you plan on walking?”
Seeing as his driving me was a hell of a lot faster, not to mention cheaper—meaning free—I followed him out to the SUV his sister left the last time she came for a visit and to check on everyone. I jumped into the front passenger seat and reclined the seat back enough so I could take a nap during the two-hour drive back to Creswell Springs.
But even as tired as my entire body and mind were, sleep eluded me the entire ride back.
Tanner had seemed really upset I was leaving. I didn’t know if he was just hallucinating again or if he really did care that something might happen to me. But I honestly didn’t know if I wanted to find out which it was.
Because I really, really wanted him to care, and if he didn’t, I knew it would shatter what was left of my stupid damn heart.
Finally back at the clubhouse, I rushed inside in search of my son.
Hearing his precious giggles coming from the main room, I followed the sound and stopped when my eyes landed on him. He was toddling around, chasing after Lexa, while Max crawled right behind him. The two Reid babies could have been brothers, they looked so similar. Dark hair, blue eyes, that damn cocky set to their chin and brows. It was maddening at times, but I adored that cockiness.
As I watched, I realized Quinn hadn’t just been trying to soothe my helicopter-mother feathers. Reid did seem to be having a good time without me. I put that down to all the women treating my son like their own. That was one of the things I’d always loved about my father’s MC. Everyone treated each other like they were all family. All the kids belonged to everyone. They were loved and looked after, no matter where the biological parents happened to be at any given time.
“Momma!” Reid screamed happily when he finally saw me and raced across the distance separating us.
I crouched down on my haunches and waited for him to throw himself into my arms. Wrapping my arms around him, I started kissing him everywhere as I stood, making him giggle happily.
“Oh, my little man. I missed you so, so, so much.” I rubbed my nose against his before kissing his cheek, inhaling the clean scent of his skin and hair. I probably smelled like week-old trash left out in the sun to rot compared to him.
“Momma,” he cooed, his chubby little arms clinging to me.
Tears burned my eyes, and I clutched him closer so he wouldn’t see that I was so close to an emotional breakdown. To him, I was the provider of applesauce and sippy cups. I’d never let him see me cry, and I would keep it that way for as long as I possibly could.
“Okay, wow.” Raven’s voice was right behind me, and I turned to face her. She put her hand to her nose. “Yeah, you were right to come back for a shower. Girl, you smell ripe.”
“Ah, you say the sweetest things.” I kissed Reid’s cheek one more time then pushed him into her arms. “Do you mind watching him while I get cleaned up?”
“No problem. You can use my room if you want. Throw those clothes into the bedroom, and I’ll put them in the washer while you shower.” She arranged Reid on her hip, fingering his curls. “By the way, an ambulance is transporting Tanner from Eureka to the hospital here right now. The guys will all be back by tonight.”
“That’s good news,” I muttered.
“Tanner is in a piss-poor mood too, from what Bash told me.”
I grunted, opening the door to her bedroom, not surprised when she followed. Shutting the door, she placed Reid on his feet and moved toward the bed to make it up. “Look, I don’t know what happened, but I know that Tanner is hard to handle even on a good day. It’s annoying and endearing all at the same time, and it can drive a saint to commit murder.”
“Glad you know that,” I told her as I walked into the bathroom and started stripping, tossing my dirty clothes into the bedroom as I pulled off each item.
“Jos, he seems to really care about you.”
Naked now, I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body before turning on the shower to let it warm up. Standing in the doorway between the two rooms, I watched my son crawl around on the carpet, playing with a few of Max’s toys he’d left scattered on the floor. “We all know Tanner doesn’t go for someone like me. Hell, I practically had to beg him to fuck me the first time. And the second time, that was only because he was jealous and pissed at me. I did a lot of flirting with some of the other brothers, and I played it up enough that I got a bit of a bad reputation. But I didn’t care about being called a cocktease as long as it got me what I wanted. Now I see it was all a mistake. We never should have hooked up. I was only deceiving myself thinking he would want more than a quick roll before he got bored with me. And he more than proved me right when it was over.”
“Then why was he so adamant about you staying beside him when he could barely lift his head?” she tossed out.
“Because he fucked up and gave my name to Fontana?” I shrugged, remember the fear in Tanner’s voice when he’d confessed. “I don’t know. Maybe he has some weird hero complex, and he wants to save me from the big, bad monsters. It doesn’t matter. Tanner can’t love me, and I’m not going to wear out my heart on him anymore.”
“But it’s not like you two won’t have anything to do with each other now. You have a child together. You can’t keep him from his son any longer.”