Jack.
I missed him so much.
A small sob left me before I even realized I was crying, and Hawk was suddenly turning on the lights so he could see my face. “Gracie, what’s wrong?” he demanded, his voice gruff. “Baby, why are you crying?”
I buried my face in his chest, clinging to him. “I miss him,” I whispered. “It doesn’t feel right to be so happy when he’s gone.”
“Ah, baby, I know. I miss him too.” He kissed the top of my head, his fingers stroking down my back soothingly. “Uncle Jack was like a second dad to me. I thought he was going to be around forever.”
“I didn’t get to tell him about the baby.” I hiccupped, my tears falling faster. “He was going to be a great-grandfather, and he didn’t even know.”
“I wish I could have saved him for you, Gracie.” He kissed the top of my head, his arms tightening around me protectively.
I lifted my head, letting the tears continue to fall, but frowning down at him. There was something in his voice that bothered me. “It wasn’t your fault, Hawk. There was nothing anyone could have done.”
“Maybe if I’d noticed he was off earlier in the day—”
I pressed my mouth to his, stopping his pained words. I kissed him long and hard, wanting to erase those thoughts from his head. When I lifted my head again, I cupped his jaw in one hand. “There was nothing you could have done,” I repeated. “Don’t beat yourself up over this, okay?”
“I hate it when you’re so sad,” he muttered. “It kills me to see your tears.”
“You can’t keep things from hurting me, babe. Life is full of too much pain for you to even try. Just hold me like you’re doing now, and I’ll be just fine,” I assured him.
He lifted his lips in a grim smile. “I’ll die holding you, woman. It’s the only way I want to go.”
Shaking my head at him, I laid my head back on his chest, letting the sound of his heart beating in my ear lure me back to sleep.
“If it’s a boy, can we call him Jack?” Hawk asked before I could fall under sleep’s spell.
My eyes snapped open, but I didn’t move. “I love you so much.”
“That a yes?”
I let my lashes fall again. “That’s a definite yes.”
Chapter 27
Jos
The scent of coffee permeated the air as I opened the bathroom door and walked barefoot back to my room. The bedroom I had at Grandpa’s didn’t have a bathroom, and I wasn’t ready to move into his master bedroom yet. That would mean having to clean out all his things, and I just wasn’t mentally prepared for that.
Reid’s pack ’n play was against the wall in the corner of my small room, but my son wasn’t asleep in there as he’d been all night. He must have climbed out while I was in the shower and crawled into my bed beside his father.
I stopped before I reached it, looking down at my two sleeping boys. Tanner’s arm was wrapped around Reid, both of them on their sides, heads on the same pillow facing each other. Both of them had their mouths open in deep sleep, snoring slightly. Seeing them together like this made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I swallowed the lump that threatened to choke me before making myself get dressed.
I had a morning full of work to accomplish before I went dress shopping with Quinn and the others that afternoon. Reid and Tanner were going to spend the day together, much as they’d done all week. They were bonding, growing closer and developing a tight father-son relationship that made me happier than I ever realized I could be.
In the kitchen, Dad was sitting at the table, a mug of black coffee in front of him as he ate a bowl of instant oatmeal and a slice of toast.
“Made some extra if you want it,” Dad said as he focused on the food before him.
“Thanks.” I poured myself a cup of coffee then grabbed a bowl of oatmeal. Thankfully, I’d been able to go grocery shopping the day before, so there was fresh fruit in the fridge. I grabbed a few freshly washed berries and tossed them on top, then squeezed a little honey over it.
Dropping down into a chair at the small kitchen table with my dad, I offered him a smile. “It’s nice now that everything has finally calmed down, don’t you think?”
He nodded but chewed his food for a lot longer than was necessary, and I knew he had something to say that he didn’t want to voice. I pretended not to notice and ate my breakfast, waiting for him to speak.
I was nearly done with my coffee when he finally opened his mouth. “Your mom keeps asking when you’re going to come home.”