Wanting Shaw (Rockers' Legacy Book 5)

Jagger was hanging out with Violet for me, and I wished I were with them. I hated leaving my best friend alone, even though she’d been doing so well with her therapy that she was starting to get back to the girl I loved so much once again. I got nervous when I wasn’t close to her for more than a day. Thankfully, Jagger understood that and was always ready to step up and spend time with her when I had to work or go on family trips Violet wasn’t able to attend with me.

The worst part of the weekend was when we got ready to head home and I realized that Cannon was actually coming back with us this time. Of course, I’d known he would be returning eventually, but I’d thought he would stay an extra week or two to get his things packed. Instead, he was practically dancing with excitement to get back to California.

As we boarded the plane, I finally let myself look at my brother for what was the first time since he’d been sent away. He’d always been on the leaner side of muscular, but his time in military school had filled him out, making me wonder what kind of workout regimen they had put him on. His clothes fit him a little snugger, but the extra muscles only had the female population giving him hungry glances that left me wanting to gag.

His hair was cut in the typical military style, which made my lips twitch with a bitchy smile. Before, he’d kept his hair on the shaggy side, and he would whine every time Mom made him get it trimmed. This hairstyle needed to be managed every two weeks at the least, so I could only imagine his constant whining had irritated whoever had to keep up the maintenance on his current hairstyle.

We had four seats in first class, and since it was a smaller plane, that only left four other seats, all of which were already taken when we boarded. Mom and Dad sat with each other, leaving me to take the seat right beside my brother. I was seriously tempted to trade with someone in the economy section just to avoid having to be so close to the asshole.

As if she could sense my thoughts, Mom grabbed my arm and tugged me down until our gazes were locked. “Don’t even think about it. Get your ass over there and sit down. And I better not hear either of you arguing. I won’t put up with you two being at each other’s throats now that he’s home, Shaw.”

I tugged my arm free and turned to glare at my brother. “I get the window seat,” I snapped at him. “If I have to put up with your ass the whole way home, I at least get to enjoy the view.”

“Whatever you want, little sis,” he said with a tight smile. Standing, he moved so I could take the window seat before dropping down beside me.

I put on my seat belt and then pulled out my earbuds. After switching my phone to airplane mode, I clicked on my playlist and turned it up as loud as it would go. If Mom didn’t want to hear us arguing, the safest thing was to avoid even talking to my brother.

For the entire trip, I played games on my phone and kept my music playing so I wasn’t tempted to say anything that would only get me grounded.

If I was honest with myself, though, my real problem was that I was dreading everything now that Cannon was going to be home. With him at military school, he and Jagger hadn’t had any contact with each other as far as I knew. But with him home, I couldn’t help wondering if things were going to change between Jagger and me.

We weren’t together, but we did spend a lot of time hanging out. Most of the time, Violet was with us, and I knew it was because he was just as worried about her as I was. But I also knew that he was around so much because he was trying to show me he still wanted to be with me and was patiently waiting for me to get over my fear.

I wasn’t ready for more than the closer friendship Jags and I had, but I didn’t want to lose it either. I didn’t want to lose him again. But with Cannon back, I didn’t know how I wouldn’t. Jagger would pick my brother over me.

Over us.

Just as he had last time.

&nbsp

; As soon as I got home, I tossed my case in my room and changed clothes before heading to Violet’s house. I’d texted her as soon as we touched down at LAX, so she knew I was on my way. Walking in through her kitchen door, I was greeted by Oscar and took a moment to pet the beautiful German shepherd before grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge and heading to Vi’s room.

“Hey, Shaw,” Mason called from the living room. “How was your trip?”

“Meh,” I said with a twist of my lips that made him grin. “How was your weekend?”

“Jagger and I went surfing yesterday, then we took Violet to dinner last night.” He patted his stomach. “I’m still full from all the nachos. I out-ate Jags by two baskets of chips.”

“Gross,” I laughed. “And I’m kind of jealous. I want some nachos.”

“Tell Jags. I don’t mind having a rematch tonight. I think he said he was coming over this evening since you were supposed to come home.”

Excitement and trepidation filled me in equal parts. I wanted to see him—ached to see him—but what if the only reason he was going to come back to Santa Monica was to see Cannon? Forcing a smile for Mason, I left him in the living room and went up to Violet’s room.

She was sprawled out on her bed reading when I opened the door without bothering to knock. When she saw me, her eyes brightened. “I guess you survived?”

“Barely,” I grumbled as I flopped down beside her. Grabbing a pillow, I pulled it under my head and crossed my arms over my stomach as I glared up at the ceiling. “Mind if I sleep here tonight?”

“You know you’re welcome here anytime,” she assured me. “By the way, Jags was so pitiful all weekend because you were absent.” I glanced at her out of the side of my eyes and saw her smirking. “He put up a good front whenever Mason was around, but he would sigh so heavily, like he was missing a piece of himself. It was so freaking adorable. I don’t even think he realized he was doing it.”

That gave me a giddy little feeling in my stomach, but I fought the smile attempting to lift my lips as hope tried to rise higher in my heart, pushing my ever-present fear away—but only just a little.

“I called him after your text saying you were on the ground,” Violet informed me. “He casually asked if we might want to grab dinner or something.”

“Mexican?” When my bestie made a face, I couldn’t help but laugh. “How disgusting was it watching them pig out on nachos?”

“I honestly think Jagger let Mase win,” she said as she made a grossed-out face. “But it was still like watching two wild beasts who hadn’t eaten in months devour all that salsa, queso, and guacamole. The waitstaff kept giving us looks, and I’m fairly sure our waitress was scared of losing a finger if she got too close.” She shook her head, causing her hair to fall over one shoulder. “Mason ate all those nachos and was still able to eat a burrito that was practically bursting at the seams with beef, rice, and beans.”