Wanting Shaw (Rockers' Legacy Book 5)

I bit my lip, not sure I could handle her answer if I asked what she meant by that. It made me remember Vi’s dark places after her breakup with Luca. Did she mean Jags was there?

Unable to handle the not knowing, I caved and texted her back.

Me: Define “hasn’t been in a good place”!

She didn’t text me back, and my stomach bottomed out.

Jagger hadn’t even tried to text or call me since the Sunday we’d argued. That was almost three weeks ago. I was surprised—and, yeah, a little hurt—that he hadn’t tried to reach out to me. If he was going to fix this, shouldn’t he have at least tried to get me to speak to him? Apologize? Prove to me that he wasn’t ever going to pick Cannon over me again?

Instead, there had been nothing from him, and it left me feeling…empty.

The other three women made small talk all the way to the restaurant and I tried to listen and contribute to the conversation, but all I could think about was how much I missed Jagger and wanted to hear his voice.

For weeks, I’d been thinking about what Violet said that night in the shower. How it had echoed what Jags had said to me. I wasn’t sure what to do, because I was still scared, but I knew I’d overreacted about the entire Cannon issue. Jagger had messed up by trying to keep me in the dark about my brother moving in and his past with Dana, but I’d messed up too. Vi had been correct in saying that the whole thing was microscopic on the fuckup scale.

But I didn’t know how to fix it.

After we were seated and then placed our orders, I sat back and waited, knowing it was only a matter of time before Aunt Emmie and/or Mia finally let me have it.

“I told you to give him a chance to explain,” Mom exploded, surprising me and making me sit up a little straighter. “Did you?”

“Yes,” I answered quickly, but I wasn’t sure how much of a chance I’d actually given him. He’d started talking about Mexico, and I’d gotten upset. Things had kind of escalated quickly after that, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure how much of it I remembered because I’d been so upset.

Mom rolled her eyes before glaring at me. “How much of a chance did you give him? Five minutes?”

“I… Um… A couple of hours?” I frowned, trying to remember how much time had gone by from the moment I’d gotten to his apartment until we’d started arguing. “Yeah, it was definitely a few hours. We watched some television and made lunch. But then he kept talking about going to Mexico.”

“Oh boo-fucking-hoo,” Mom scoffed. “A hot guy wanted to take you to Mexico for a few days. The nerve of him for attempting to spoil you a little.”

“He was trying to keep the fact that Cannon was moving in from me longer!” I tried to defend my actions.

“I always considered you smarter than your brother, Shaw. But I’m starting to question my judgment where you’re concerned.”

I gasped at the hurt she’d just inflicted, but I clenched my jaw before my chin could tremble. “Was I just supposed to let him keep hiding stuff from me? Is that how relationships work? Tell me, Mother dear, is that how it is with you and Dad?”

“You damn well know it isn’t,” she snapped. “But you didn’t even give that boy a fighting chance.”

I pressed my lips together and looked away, knowing she was right.

The waitress dropped off a basket of bread and quickly walked away, sensing the tension at our table.

“Shaw, honey.” Reluctantly, I glanced diagonally across the table to where Aunt Emmie was patiently sitting. “You seem miserable. I’ve talked to your parents and even Violet, and they all say the same thing. You’ve been hurting. Do you regret what happened with you and Jagger?”

Tears burned my eyes. “Yes,” I whispered. “I just don’t know how to fix this mess.”

Mia put her arms around my shoulders and gave me a small smile. “Have you tried saying you’re sorry?”

I gave an emotional snort. “Do you think it would be that easy?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. But it’s a good place to start.”

“I think ‘I’m sorry’ is the perfect place to begin,” Aunt Emmie said with a reassuring smile. “Quickly followed by ‘I love you.’” Her eyes darkened, and she lost the smile. Suddenly, the woman staring back at me wasn’t my beloved aunt who would have moved heaven and earth for me. In her place was Jagger’s mother, and she was a fierce momma bear ready to annihilate me if I hurt her precious cub again. ?

?It’s okay to be scared, Shaw. Especially after watching your best friend go through such a tragic breakup. But hurting people to keep yourself from hurting is one of the most selfish things you could possibly do to someone you love.”

“I-I’m sorry,” I stuttered. “I didn’t mean…”

“You told him you don’t love him,” she said in a chilly voice. “I think you did mean it. But I’m giving you the chance to correct it.”