I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream at him, but tears instantly blurred my vision as I realized this was it. I wasn’t going to see him again for five days. “Dreamer,” he groaned and lifted me into his arms. My arms went around his neck, my legs around his waist, and I held on as the tears began to fall. “Baby, please don’t cry.”
I sniffled against his shirt. “I’m sorry,” I choked out. “I just miss you already.”
“I’ll stay if you need me. Just say the word, baby. That’s all it’s going to take.” I felt his lips at my ear, heard the roughness in his breathing, and knew this was just as hard for him as it was for me. “I don’t want to leave you.”
I buried myself as deeply into him as I could, giving his offer serious consideration. I felt like my heart was being pulled from my chest just thinking of him getting on a plane without me. But I had to be a grown-up about this. He was a busy guy. For two weeks, he had put his entire life on hold for me, and his sick grandmother needed him. I couldn’t be selfish. I loved this guy, and if I was going to have a future with him, I had to share him with other people who loved him.
Determined that I was going to let him go without shedding any more tears—that he could see—I lifted my head and gave him a weak smile. “No, babe. You go. I know this is important to your grandma.”
His eyes darkened, his irises going completely black. “You are the most important person in my world. Just say the word, and I’ll call Gigi right now and tell her to fuck off. Say the word, Amara. Say it.”
Those last two words sounded like a plea more than a command, but I knew I had to let him go. Unwinding myself from around him, I put my feet on the ground and stood on tiptoes to kiss him. “Take care of this for her, Cash. You don’t want to have any regrets where she’s concerned.” Stepping back, I walked around the van and opened the driver’s door.
Riley blew me a kiss and waved as she took her case and wheeled it into the airport. Cash started to follow her, but I couldn’t let him leave. Not yet. “Cash!” I called and he turned.
“Dreamer?” he asked when I hesitated.
“I love you,” I called, and his face lifted into a grin. Before he could respond, though, I chickened out and jumped into Jane’s vehicle. I waved as I passed him and pulled into traffic. I gave up the war I’d been fighting to keep my tears at bay and let them pour down my face.
Chapter 12
Amara
As sad as I was to see Cash go, I was glad I took the extra few days alone with my brothers and Jane. It wasn’t like any of us were magically going to be okay the day after we said goodbye to Dad. I knew it was going take all four of us a while before we were even marginally normal again, but that I was able to be there for them—and they were there for me—went a long way toward putting us on the right path.
Still, I missed Cash so damn much it was like he took part of me with him. Jane and the boys dropped me off at the airport a day early with tight hugs and a few shed tears, along with my promise that I would be home for Christmas like always. Dad’s dying wasn’t going to change me spending time with the only family I had.
Storms on the West Coast made for a bumpy flight and a rough landing, so much so that I was ready to kiss the ground once we were finally at the gate. My stomach was a mess, and I’d made good use of those little motion sickness bags during my flight, as had ninety percent of the other passengers.
No one was there to pick me up. I wanted to surprise Cash, so I hadn’t told him or Riley I was coming home a day early. We’d talked every night since he left, and I could hear in his voice he was missing me just as badly as I was him. All I wanted was a night alone with him, and then I was going to dedicate the rest of the weekend to Riley and Lindsey before packing my things to move in with Cash.
The storms were still making the world rumble as I caught a cab outside the airport and gave the driver Cash’s address. It was just past seven on a Friday night, and even the downpour that was practically flooding the city didn’t seem to be much of a deterrent. Traffic was a total bitch, and the driver could barely see through the rain, so it took nearly triple the time to get to West Hollywood.
I paid the driver and made a quick dash for the front door as soon as the cab pulled up in front of Cash’s building. I was drenched as I stepped into the lobby. Wringing out my hair, I hit the call button for the elevators and wrapped my arms around myself to fight off the chill from the air conditioning.
I stepped into the elevator and hit the button for his floor. Weeks ago, he’d given me a key, and I used it to unlock the door to his apartment. I had no idea if he was even home, but I could at least take a shower and get warm again while I waited if he was out.
As I closed the door behind me, I tossed my key on the entrance table and started rolling my carry-on toward his bedroom. His apartment was pretty well-kept for a guy. He cleaned up after himself, and that was going to be in his favor in the long run. I would hate to murder him for making a disaster in the kitchen like Lindsey always did.
Grinning at the thought, I slung my wet hair out of my face. Feet away from the door, however, I heard his voice and paused.
“How about some coffee to warm us up?” Cash called out, and it was like someone hit the pause button on my heart.
I heard a faint giggle, and my stomach actually cramped up. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll be right out.”
Nausea started to climb up my throat, and I stumbled back a step as I heard footsteps coming closer. “I’ll just toss your clothes in the dryer when you’re done. I left you a T-shirt and a pair of my boxers on the bed.” The door opened, but Cash had his back to me as he kept talking to his guest. Dressed in a pair of sweats with his upper body bare and his hair wet, there was amusement in his voice. “How do you like your coffee?”
“I’ll take mine with extra sugar,” I gritted out, fighting the urge to vomit.
The defined muscles in his back tensed and flexed as he whirled around to face me. Every drop of color left his face. “Baby,” he breathed. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Out of all the reactions I’d expected to my surprise, this one was a hell of a long way down the list. I wrapped my arms around myself, but I didn’t feel the cold any longer. Now I was numb all the way to my bones. “I missed you, so I took an earlier flight.” My voice didn’t even sound like my own. It was robotic and completely foreign to my ears. The words didn’t make sense to my brain. All I could take in was the look in Cash’s dark eyes, the way his entire body seemed to jerk at my words. “I wanted to surprise you.”
“Fuck, Amara,” he groaned. “Baby, this… It’s not what you think.”
“What I think is that you have a girl in your bathroom right now.” I was breathing through my nose, fighting the urge to vomit with everything I had in me so I didn’t embarrass myself more than I already had. “Who is she?”
He didn’t answer, just stood there, watching me with those dark eyes that just an hour ago I had craved to see.