Tainted Bastard (Tainted Knights 4)

I caught her chin, but when I lifted it, she lowered her lashes. “Are you…scared of me?”

Her hesitation turned my heart to ice, but then she shook her head and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

“Then what’s wrong, sweet girl?”

Shaking her head again, she dislodged my hand before pressing her forehead into my chest. “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared…of this. Of what you make me feel. The other night… That kiss. It was pretty intense for me.”

I groaned at the remembered agony of just how hard I’d been right before her friends showed up. The kiss got out of hand, I could admit that, but I’d been in complete control. She had been enjoying it, had been close to coming just by grinding on me, and that was all I wanted at the time. It didn’t even matter to me that I had blue balls all fucking night.

“What exactly scared you?” I asked, needing to know what not to do next time to make her comfortable. “What didn’t you like?”

“I liked it all. That…” She huffed softly and whispered, “That’s what scared me.”

“Feeling good scares you?”

“Yeah.”

Before, when she first told me about the man who abused her, I wanted to find him and finish the job Aubree started. No man deserved to have a cock if he was going to hurt someone with it, especially a little girl like Roanna had been. But hearing her say she was scared of me making her feel good made me want to kill the sonofabitch with my bare hands. How badly did he hurt her to make her afraid of pleasure?

Knowing if I kept thinking about it, I would fly into a rage, I pushed the thought of him away. He wasn’t important. Only Roanna was.

I picked her up and sat her on the counter. Without my coaxing or asking, she spread her legs, letting me closer. “I’m going to ask you something, and it’s important that you’re completely honest with me. Okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Have you ever touched yourself, Ro? Ever masturbated?”

Her cheeks reddened, but after a small hesitation, she finally shook her head.

“Why not?”

She leaned her head back against the cabinet, glaring up at the ceiling so she didn’t have to meet my gaze. “Because I’ve never had that kind of urge. When Sicko Stan raped me, I was barely a teenager. It was like he killed all of those kinds of feelings and needs inside of me.”

“And the other night was the first time you ever—”

“Yes!” she cried before I could finish the question, her face flaming.

Fuck, my dick liked that answer a lot more than it should. Feeling smug that I could make her feel anything after what she went through, I kissed her. Just a quick brush of my lips over hers before forcing myself to lift my head. “That’s not a bad thing, Ro. You’re allowed to get turned on from just a kiss. Hell, I’m hard as a damn rock right now.”

“It never felt good when Sicko Stan did things to me, Sin. It hurt every time.” Her voice was so weak, I wanted to punch something. Preferably her abuser right in the nut sac. “The other night scared me so much because I wasn’t expecting to feel anything. Instead, I was on fire. Every part of my body felt the blaze.”

I brushed a few locks of hair back from her face. “That’s the way it’s supposed to feel, sweet girl.”

She covered her face with her hands. “I know, and I’m sorry.”

“What the fuck are you sorry about?” I pulled her hands down and kissed her again. “If you enjoyed it, there isn’t anything you should feel the need to apologize for,” I breathed against her lips.

“Sin,” she moaned, kissing me back.

“I want to make you feel good, Ro. I want to be the one who makes you come and shows you there’s nothing to be afraid of.” I brushed my nose against hers, dropping soft kisses on her lips. “Do you trust me?”

“In theory,” she whimpered, and I nipped at her bottom lip.

“Theories need to be tested, sweet girl.” I touched my mouth to the shell of her ear. “Will you let me test this one with you?”

Chapter 16

Roanna