“Of course, I do. Stop putting words in my mouth, Kas.”
My life did begin and end with Kin. That was why it was killing me to be away from her. When we went on tour the year before, I nearly quit the band then and there because I didn’t want to go without her. She was my everything.
But I hadn’t done a very good job proving that to her this past year. My actions gave her cause to distrust me, and now I had a fight on my hands to get her back.
I would, though.
--
It was hours later before I was able to sneak out of the house. Gray and Alicia both hid their keys, so after Gray and my sister went to bed and Alicia went to work even though it was a freaking Saturday, I booked an Uber. The driver dropped me off at the local car rental place, and I rented the last vehicle they had to drive back to Wytheville.
The hour drive felt like it took longer because I was going on more than twenty-four hours without sleep. I would sleep after I knew I still had Kin, I promised myself as I pulled into her stepfather’s driveway. Jogging up the walkway, I rang the doorbell and waited impatiently for someone to answer.
It was a few minutes before the door opened, Caleb standing on the other side with a mug of coffee in his hand. “She’s not here,” he told me without preamble.
“Did she go home?” I asked, already pulling up the airline app on my phone.
“Nope,” he said, popping the p.
I looked up from my phone. “So, where is she?” He shrugged, and I felt panic begin to choke me. “You don’t know where the fuck she went?”
“Nope. She said Emmie was helping her, told me she would keep in touch so I wouldn’t worry, then threw her things into the back of her rental and took off. That was two, maybe three hours ago.”
I grabbed him by his shirt, making him drop his coffee, but the fucker was so weighed down with muscle he didn’t even budge when I got in his face. “You just let her go? The fuck, man? She was upset, and you let her go alone to who the fuck knows where!”
For the first time, I wished Angie were around, because as much of a ballbuster as she was, she never would have let Kin just leave.
“Kin’s a big girl. She knows what she’s doing and what’s right for her.”
I released him and flipped him off before calling Kin for the thousandth time.
It went straight to voice mail. Cursing, I jogged to the rental, but when I got to the highway, I didn’t know which way to go. One way took me back to Bristol, the other toward North Carolina, and then West Virginia was just a twenty-minute drive away. She could have gone in any direction, could have been anywhere since she’d left hours before. Two-and-a-half-hours’ drive would have taken her to Charlotte, less time than that could have taken her to Roanoke, both of which had major airports. She could have been on a fucking plane to another country for all I knew.
Exhaustion and frustration had my eyes burning, and I sent her a text, praying she would see it before deleting it.
Baby, come back to me. I love you.
Kin
Nashville was a seven-hour drive from Carter’s house, but Tennessee had some of the most beautiful scenery, even from the interstate. Any other time, I would have been lost in the mountainous views and all those green trees. I would have stopped at the Sevierville exit to get some chocolate and a milk shake from the Russell Stover’s store, or even taken a side trip all the way up to Gatlinburg.
Jace and I used to do that every time we came back for a visit with Alicia and Carter. We had even talked about taking a few days to ourselves up in the Smokies after Christmas with our families this year. The plans were made right after Lucy’s bachelorette weekend, when things felt like they were getting better between us. I thought making future plans meant that we were going to be okay, that we were getting over the rough patch all couples went through.
I thought wrong.
Annabelle Brockman lived in a gated community with her rocker husband and their adorable son, Jaco. Lucky for me, Emmie’s business partner was home for once, and she was already waiting at the door when I pulled into her driveway.
As I got out of my rental, she came out of the house with her purse tossed over her shoulder. Zander waved from the doorway, his piercings glinting in the sunlight. “Love you, Anna,” he called. “See ya, Kin.”
I waved to him as I got into the passenger seat of my car, and Annabelle blew him a kiss before getting behind the wheel so she could drive me to wherever the hell Aunt Emmie set up for me. The entire drive down, all I could think was that I was running away, just as Lucy did. But instead of feeling guilty or disappointed in myself for doing what I once thought was the coward’s way out, every mile I put between me and the person responsible for my aching heart was a relief.
“You okay?” Annabelle asked as we got on the road again.
I leaned my head against the passenger window, contemplating my answer. “No?” I honestly wasn’t sure how I was any longer.
Ghosting Jace seemed wrong, but I felt zero remorse for doing it. Last night, I’d wanted him to fight harder for me, while at the same time wishing him anywhere but in front of me. Three years was a long time to be with someone and just walk away without a word about where I was going, how long I was going to be gone, or if I would ever come back.
Right then and there, I didn’t ever want to come back. I just wanted to be alone, to contemplate how I put up with him holding back so much of himself during the past year. I didn’t like how I’d let him keep his secret for so long, how even though I’d thought he was cheating, I still stayed with him. I loved him more than any other person in the world, yet I was realizing I’d stopped loving and respecting myself somewhere along the way.