“By MC standards? Yes.” A muscle in his jaw started clenching and unclenching. “By my standards as your father? Not even close.”
I nodded, having known that would probably be his answer. “Yeah, I get that too.” I inhaled slowly, fighting the sting of tears, but failing to keep them at bay. “Then that makes this so much easier. Because what I’m going to make you give up is me, Dad.”
He jerked as if I’d stabbed him. “What?”
“You heard me,” I choked out, as a tear spilled over my lashes. “You made your choice. Your anger, it’s too much for me. You can’t accept Maverick and me. Now, I’m making my choice—I choose Maverick. I will always pick him. Over you or Mom or anyone else. Always.”
“River, you can’t—” He broke off, his face turning to stone. “If you give me up, you’re giving up your mother too.”
“The fuck you say!” Mom exploded. “Just because you fucked up and she’s cutting you out of her life, doesn’t mean I will be put in the same category. Because I’m telling you right now, Colt. If you make me choose, you’re not going to like who I pick.”
Sweat broke out on his brow, but that didn’t stop him from calling her bluff. “You wouldn’t.”
“Is that a dare?” she asked in a deceptively soft voice. “I carried her inside my body. I felt her kicks and fell in love with her in a way that no man could ever possibly understand because he will never know that kind of miracle. You? You own my heart, but I will walk away from you with zero regrets if it means keeping my daughter in my life. Unlike my own mother, I will always pick my child over anyone. Including you.”
He seemed to be having difficulty swallowing for a moment. “Kelli, I…I wouldn’t make you choose.” He scrubbed his hands over his face in agitation. “Fuck, can we just calm down for a minute here? This is getting out of control. I…I’ll accept your relationship with Maverick, okay?” He gulped, his fear over losing Mom making his eyes wild. “I won’t pull any more shit like I did tonight.”
I gave him a sad smile as yet another tear spilled free. “If you’d accepted it before you broke my heart, that would have been great, Dad. But now, it’s too little, too late.” Turning my back on him, I caught Mom’s hand. “I’m not asking you to choose between him and me. I would never do that to you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I know, sweetheart. But I will always pick you. Without hesitation. Please, if nothing else, I hope you understand that.”
My heart only ached more. That was only one of many differences between her and Dad. “I know,” I whispered.
Knowing if I stayed a moment longer, I was going to break down sobbing like a baby, I walked toward the door.
“River, stop.”
The plea in Dad’s voice didn’t give me pause. Even when he yelled for me to wait, I kept walking, but at the door, I glanced back, only to see my aunts and Mom standing like a fortified wall in front of him, blocking him from following me.
“Goodbye, Dad.”
Maverick was snoring away when I got back to the apartment. Figuring he would most likely sleep through the night, I sent Aunt Willa and Elias home. After locking up behind them, I took a long hot shower, needing to wash the events of the day off me.
But as I crawled into bed beside my man, I couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over again. I cuddled up beside Mav and just let go. The anger, the heartache, the fear of losing the only person who mattered to me, it all bubbled together and boiled over until I couldn’t even breathe, I was sobbing so hard.
Maverick stirred, his arms instinctively going around me and holding me. Even in his drugged-out state, his first thought was to protect and comfort me.
Not wanting to disturb him, I tried to keep quiet, but it was like attempting to contain a tsunami. Even though my brain told me he needed to rest, my body knew it was safe with him, and I couldn’t control myself.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured groggily, kissing the top of my head as he stroked my hair with a heavy hand. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I-I’ll fix it, I swear.”
I wiped my nose on his T-shirt. “Y-you h-have nothing t-to be s-s-sorry for,” I sobbed.
“Then…what’s wrong?” he asked, confusion thick in his voice.
I didn’t think his drug-fogged mind would understand if I tried to explain everything to him right then. Gulping down my tears, I sat up and patted my legs. “Put your head here,” I instructed, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
He didn’t hesitate to pillow his head on my lap. When my nails stroked over his scalp as I combed them through his hair, he released a content moan. Moments later, his breathing evened out and he was asleep once again.
I sat there all night, doing nothing more than touching him in some shape or form. He woke a few times, groaning that he had cottonmouth or that his head ached, but each time I asked if he wanted me to get him something, he grumbled something unintelligible and drifted right back to sleep.
As dawn peeked weakly through the curtains, I finally forced myself to move. My body ached from sitting in one spot for so long without moving, and my eyes felt dry and gritty, but sleep still eluded me. Carefully, I lifted Maverick’s head off my lap and climbed out of bed.
In the bathroom, I found him some aspirin, then went into the kitchen to get him a bottle of water. After placing it on the nightstand, I went back to the kitchen to make coffee.
I was standing by the sink drinking my second cup when Maverick stumbled in. His eyes were bloodshot, and his skin had a pasty color to it, making me think he was feeling sick to his stomach. Crossing to me, he took the mug from my hands and drained the nearly full cup of coffee.
Blurry-eyed, he set the cup on the counter and grabbed my hips, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry.”