Not now though.
Now? Things are royally screwed with no end even on the other side of the horizon, it feels like.
He snarls at me once more for good measure, I guess, and signals for me to move aside. I do and he goes.
He goes and I continued to hunt for my purse, fruitlessly because obviously someone stole it.
And I want to go back into the master bedroom to look for my laptop one more time, in case Shane had the presence of mind to stash my most valuable item, but there’s a giant spider in there. A spider Aiden’s brother expects me to take care of. I laugh. My life. At least the door is closed, and that thing is way too big to climb under the gap.
I shudder.
Will I even sleep tonight knowing it’s in there? And not to mention, not knowing what I’m going to do tomorrow, where Shane is and what possible disaster is up next for me.
I scoff at that notion and pour another glass of water from the dispenser on the fridge and drink it back. Slower this time. I haven’t eaten today. This might be why I feel so weak. That and the stress. The stress that is my very existence.
Maybe I should at least try to look in the master bedroom for my purse.
I find a bag of trail mix in the pantry and munch on a few handfuls, trying to get my blood sugar up. I then grab a trash bag from the cleaning supply cupboard and begin shoving cans and bottles into it. What a mess.
“Where are you, Shane?” I mutter.
The door swings open and hope flares.
Aiden’s brother is holding my backpack purse. My purse!
Hope for Shane burns out, but the sight of my purse is a relief. Even though he’s holding it like it’s going to bite him.
“Oh, thank god,” I say. ”Where was it?”
He looks at me with the bag of trail mix and shakes his head. And I can read his mind; he thinks I’m in here casually eating Aiden’s food in the apartment that is dirty because of me and my brother. He thinks I’m a waste of space druggie who takes her clothes off for money – not that I have anything against strippers or anything, but the way he looked at me? He thinks I’m a piece of shit. With the munchies.
“The elevator,” he says and puts it on the console table by the door. “The wallet was on the floor. I looked inside.”
“At least you know I am Jada Miller,” I mumble. “And I won’t have to replace my ID. That’s something. Of course my cash is gone. Ugh! At least you got my purse back. Aiden’s sister bought this for me.”
And then my eyes go wide. “My wallet! Aiden’s credit card was in here.” I’ve fished around through all the pockets because the pocket I had it in is empty. “Oh shit. It needs to be reported as stolen.” My heart drops.
He rears back and shakes his head. “My sister bought you a purse?”
“Yeah. As a gift. She gave me a gift card to thank me for - never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
He shakes his head. “And why do you have my brother’s credit card?”
Why is it stranger to him and worth noting first that his sister gave me a gift over the fact that his brother’s card is missing?
“It’s mine, or it was. It was even in my name. I had it to do his shopping when I worked for him, so he told me to consider myself freelance for whenever they might come back. That’s why I had the key and the card.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, shaking his head and running his hand through his hair.
Yeah, it sounds like a bad decision for Aiden to leave a key and a credit card with someone who doesn’t work for him anymore, but Aiden trusted me.
“Could it maybe occur to you right now if you stop being angry for one second that your brother trusts me and… and maybe, just maybe you’ve got the wrong impression here? This is not who I am. This…” I point to the floor, “Tonight… it has been a shit storm that I’m caught up in. All out of my control.”
He scoffs. “Your life is the sum total of your decisions. Yours. Mine. Anyone who says anything different is a cop-out lookin’ for a scapegoat for their failures.”
I blink in astonishment.
I mean, in some ways he’s kind of right. But not. Not everyone has control over their circumstances. And how could I make a different decision? A decision to abandon my brother? Unthinkable.
“All this here tonight is your doing,” he continues, waving his finger in an air circle to indicate the entire room. “You had the key. You had the credit card. You hold responsibility for all of this. Like I said, be back in twelve hours. Clean this shit up and be ready to vacate.”