“Austin,” Aiden’s voice has changed. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t think of all that shit with Sienna that way.”
“Whatever,” I grumble. “Your wedding was beautiful. I’m happy for you that you saw none of the drama happening around it. But I’ve had a really shitty couple days.”
“I get it. I just reacted seeing you two in bed and as soon as I thought on it I knew you wouldn’t do that shit to me. I’ve already let it go. Man, I’m on my honeymoon, I’m just tryin’ to enjoy it.”
“I get that. I don’t need the shit of dealing with this chick, Aid. I wanna send her packing, get this place cleaned and fumigated, and get on with whatever I have to do here. I’ve got to go to the office tomorrow and play tyrant boss on top of all this shit and you know that’s not me – I hate that shit.”
“I know,” he says softly.
“Fuck,” I run my hand through my hair.
“Do what you’ve gotta do there today, man. Let Jada stay today, tonight. Stay in the hotel another night. I’ll touch base with you tomorrow morning at the office and we’ll go from there.”
“Fine.”
“Tell Jada to call Carly within the next hour. Then we’re goin’ swimming with dolphins.”
“All right, man.” I’d laugh if I weren’t so pissed about him swimming with dolphins to make Carly happy. It’s obvious he’s also agreeing to let Jada stay to make Carly happy, too.
“Auz?”
“What?”
“I believe you. I know you wouldn’t fuck Sienna on purpose. I’m sorry I acted like an asshole.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
“Later.”
“Later.”
9
Jada
The shower works like a magic tonic for making me feel semi-human, and giving me a chance to think. I take note of Carly’s bath bomb brand for later. One day, when all this is behind me and I have a place of my own, a bath of my own, I’m taking a bath with one of those supposed magical bath bombs.
After the shower, getting into my own clothes, a pair of black jeans and a soft and slouchy sweater hoodie, I feel a little more like me. Things still suck, but I have a plan at least. I brush my teeth and put my hair up in a ponytail and stare at myself in the mirror.
I look tired. I look broken. I feel even worse than I look.
Though I haven’t heard from Shane yet, I’m praying he gets here soon so I can start to figure stuff out, but obviously he can’t stay here, too. I can’t ask Aiden and Carly if both of us can stay. Even if they were okay with it, Austin wouldn’t be, and I don’t want to make things any more tense than they are. I’m going to try really hard to convince Shane to go into rehab. He needs that. I have my laptop so I’m going to get on it and look for options for intake for him. He needs rehab, not to stay in a warehouse where a punk band rehearses and parties.
What started off as him going off the rails because he was off his meds has spiraled into drug addiction – clearly. Though the fact I’ve been so broke for months and he hasn’t made any money, I don’t know how he managed to get high so much.
He needs rehab, counseling, and to get on a new regimen for his meds. He needs to listen to me. After this latest stunt and how it truly screwed things up, he needs to really listen this time. I’m prepared to lay down an ultimatum and that’s not my style with him, because I know ultimatums rarely work. Obviously, I’m at the end of my rope here because it’s not my style to make empty threats; I hope he’ll take me seriously.
He has to; I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do everything for us and especially not if he’s on this road of self-destruction.
I’m going to try, one more time, to convince Austin Carmichael to let me work for him. If that doesn’t work maybe Aiden and Carly will let me stay a couple weeks so I can find a job, any job, and then I’ll either rent a room or go stay with my cousin Darlene in Jersey City. She’s a single mom with a good job and a decent apartment who said I could stay, that she’d bunk her six-year-old daughter in with her and I could take her daughter’s bedroom for a little while, maybe even be her part-time nanny in exchange for free rent. She insisted Shane and I couldn’t share that room though.
I can hardly blame her – she has a kid to worry about and Shane hasn’t been stable for more than a few months at a time in years. He borrowed a grand from her last time he spiraled out of control and I paid it back so she’s extra-wary. She knows he can get dark when he’s depressed. It’s less than ideal, but I could make it work for a little while if I have to. If Shane is in rehab getting well and working on himself then I’ll have the time and space to try to get myself stable. Get a place, steady income, and catch my breath.