I immediately spin my body as my head also spins.
“Hard limit,” I breathe.
He stares.
“The height!”
His eyes flash with regret. He drops the window cleaner and the paper towel to the rug and pulls me close pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. “Sorry, sweetheart. Overzealous.”
I feel relief. I just spoiled the whole thing with my panic and he took it in stride and reacted gently.
And I’m feeling a bit rattled, and if I’m honest a little ticked at myself, because holy shit – that is a really good idea. And I want to rewrite chapter four with his revisions. I wrote it with him screwing me against the window after watching me clean it. His version of screwing me while I’m cleaning it and demanding no streaks? Better. And thrilling if I’m doing it despite my fear. I mean… thrilling on paper/screen to have myself doing it despite being afraid, while feeling good, but not so thrilling here in the now.
“Can I … uh… call savesies and maybe request that scene later if I… if I feel braver?”
“Absolutely,” he whispers and squeezes me reassuringly. “You wanna try it, I promise to make it good and promise to keep you safe.”
And God, that feels good. And his instant answer makes me think this might not be a one-off. I don’t allow myself to dwell on that.
“I have a scene a little like that in the Austin Smut file. But yours is better.”
“Really?”
“Way better.”
He pulls me onto the bed and tucks my hair behind my ear.
“Thank you for not storming off,” I whisper.
“Hm?”
“After I no’d you at the window, I mean.”
“I’d have to be a pretty big dick to do something like that.”
I shrug. “I’m glad you’re not that big of a dick.”
He looks at me with disappointment in his eyes, I think. That I’d think that. And then he smiles with a bit of regret.
He’s definitely been a dick lately, but he’s already apologized for that.
He stares for a long moment, making me feel like I’m under scrutiny. Is he conflicted? Is he about to go?
“Instead of acting out another smut file scene, I think I’d really like to just fuck you, Jada.”
I nod. This is not exactly romantic, but quite hot. And I’m relieved he hasn’t changed his mind.
He tugs my hand and then we tumble onto the bed together. I’m quickly back on my elbows and then my robe is thrown aside and before I fall to my back I’m divested of my remaining clothes. I’m thinking he’s about to get down to business and roll that condom on that I see on the edge of the bed, foil package glinting in the moonlight.
Instead, he traces my nipples softly with his fingertips and watches them bunch up, then his fingers move down my ribcage to my hips and he parts my thighs. He dips his tongue in between my legs and looks up at me.
“Open wider,” he orders, gruffly.
I oblige. I’m feeling wanton. And so sensitive everywhere. My nipples are puckered so tight, my knees are wobbly, and my breathing pace is up. He thrusts two fingers inside and laps at my clit while looking in my eyes.
And I can’t take my gaze away. This feels far more intimate than what I’d define as fucking.
He works at me and works some more, half hanging off the bed. As soon as the orgasm starts flying toward me, about to smash me to smithereens, I hear the crinkle and the shuffling as he gets himself gloved, not missing a beat with his mouth, though I’ve lost his fingers.
As I begin to splinter apart, his fingers are back, thrusting into me hard, fast, and so deep. My body shudders from my toes straight up to my eyelashes and then he’s moving up, lining up.
I’m failing at holding my breath, at holding in the whimpering sounds coming up from my throat.
“Let go, Jada, let me hear how much you like this.”
My first thought is that I don’t know if I can, but our eyes meet and his are commanding and sexy, and without thinking on it further, I let go and cry out. This coincides with him entering me in one hard stroke. He’s bottomed out and I’m clawing the sheets at the fullness, beautiful fullness that I haven’t felt in so, so long.
I’m still coming, and he’s moving inside me while touching me, and then he’s caressing from my hip, up my torso, up the side of my breast, until his palm cups my jaw and his mouth touches down on mine. And then Austin takes while he gives. His tongue absolutely plunders my mouth as I continue making little whimpering sounds while being rocked deeper and deeper into the mattress.
My orgasm is waning, but slowly because of the sensation between my legs as he continues to spear me.