Alcohol sounded like a great idea actually. And after I pulled into my space at the back building, I started to text, “Yes. Absolutely. Where you two at?”
But I stopped short before I could push send.
Rhys was sitting on the back steps, leading up to my apartment building. He must have just gotten off his shift too. He was wearing his scrubs which made finding him here even worse. There was no reason for anyone to look as fine as The Fine Prince did in dark blue sanitary clothing.
I slowed and shook my head at him. “No, that devil corporation DBCare just took over my favorite free clinic. I do not need you here on top of that.”
Rhys frowned. “What is this about DBCare being the devil?”
Instead of answering, I sighed and asked him, “What are you doing here?”
He rose to his feet with a chagrined look. “Well, you weren’t returning any of my calls, texts, or post-it notes, so I decided stalking you was the next reasonable step.”
Technically his answer should have been off-putting, not funny. But damn that English accent….
I found myself smothering a smile, even as I asked, “Where’s Ingrid?”
“Returned to Sweden.” He walked down the stairs to stand right in front of me. So close, we were nearly chest to chest. “She left the same day she arrived.”
Sweden. So that was where her accent was from. Made sense that she’d hail from the land of ridiculously beautiful bikini models.
“Oh, that’s too bad,” I answered, keeping my tone unbothered. “I know she was looking real forward to seeing St. Louis.”
That insincere thing said, I started to push past him, but he grabbed my arm.
“Ingrid and I…yes, we were informally engaged. But we were taking a gap year. It was meant as a time for each of us to get others out of our systems before settling down.”
“So I was just a Black diversion for you until you could get married to your Swedish supermodel,” I translated. “Got it.”
“No, you weren’t just a diversion….” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Obviously, I wouldn’t have let things go as far as they had if I hadn’t truly liked you.”
“How is that obvious?” I ask him.
“Well, there were many other women vying to become my next diversion, as you put it, during the time I was dating you. If I’d wanted a simple distraction from my upcoming nuptials, I would’ve taken them up on their many offers. But I didn’t desire them. I desired you specifically.”
“You desired me specifically while you were taking a gap year off from your fiancée,” I repeated, wanting him to hear exactly how that sounds.
He bowed his head. But to his credit, he admitted, “Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted. I didn’t want to desire you the way I did. Especially knowing what would be expected of me once my fellowship concluded. But Cynda, you magnetized me. From the first moment I saw you, I knew it was you and only you that I wanted. In truth that was why I acted so coldly toward you in the beginning. You were the attraction I couldn’t resist.”
“Well, you got me,” I answered with a bitter smile. “At least for one night. Enjoy the rest of your life with Svetlana.”
“Ingrid,” he corrected. “And I’m sorry, Cynda. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her. That was wrong of me.”
“That’s alright. I know now,” I answered, my voice hard. But the truth was, the longer we stood there, the harder it was becoming to act like a big girl. All unbothered. Like these were just dating games that people play.
“No, it’s not alright,” he answered, his voice as soft as mine is hard. “I know…I know I hurt you. I would have been enraged if you had a fiancé and he had shown up the way Ingrid had.”
My heart soured at his empathy, wishing what he said wasn’t true. I liked being easy breezy Nurse America. The pretty girl who flitted into guys’ lives and ghosted right back out of them when they did something I didn’t like. And I definitely wasn’t one of those women who equated sex with love.
But this was different somehow. Finding out Rhys had a fiancée had cut me deep. And I hadn’t quite recovered. It had been weeks since the confrontation in Rhys’s apartment, but I hadn’t so much as flirted with another guy.
In fact, my last monthly call with Billie and Gina had verged on boring. Usually, I had a tale or two to regale them with. This month’s episode of Cynda and the (mid-sized and not nearly as glamorous) City. But for some reason, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to talk about Rhys. So Gina and I had ended up listening to Billie’s scintillating report on her challenging course load for her accounting degree.