His reverence instinct is kicking in, I realize after closing the door of his nursery behind me. I recall how hard it was to see my father in distress. Even during my churlish early thousands when I thought him too overdemanding, I could deny him nothing that pleased his flame.
I can only imagine what it would have been like to also have a mother pulling me in another direction. Especially one who acted in such an encouraging and affectionate manner as Ola.
That night, I lie awake in bed, once again unable to sleep for the itch in my belly. Though, in this case, the object of my itch is now but a few floors away. My flame flares with the memory of the bright yellow burning between her legs. How eagerly might she receive me if I were to make my way down the stairs and into her—
No…no…I cannot do that. I ruthlessly suppress that flare of an idea, just as surely as I mute my mate bond when I am with her.
This indulgent week I’ve allowed myself…allowed Ola. It is confusing to the both of us and also to Basileios. And it will only become more confusing if I allow myself the pleasure of mating with her outside of procreation.
I cannot think when we engage in such acts. Cannot scheme as I ought toward my ultimate goal.
I think upon the problem of the she-wolf who wants us to be a family. A happy ever after as in so many of the upright primates silly tales.
Our week of togetherness…the celebration along with the invitation I extended through the mayor….my forgetting for a time of my ultimate goal—those are all symptoms of the thing I fear most. I’ve thought about destroying whatever this is I have with Ola every day of this week, but instead I’ve end up falling even further into her rabbit hole.
And now I lie in bed itching for things I can’t have. Things I shouldn’t have.
I must do something to reestablish my dominance, I decide. And slowly a plan forms. One that finally allows me to fall asleep.
Chapter Nineteen
OLA
It’s working! It’s actually working. That past week has been nothing short of everything I tentatively hoped for when I YOLO 100ed out that window with Damianos.
I mean, no, everything’s not perfect. The “big day” is tomorrow and I’m still not sure what it’s all about. I’m also still waking up in my own over-fancy bedroom alone every morning because Damianos hasn’t touched me. And my biosystem’s still off, and this time it’s not because I don’t want anyone to find me. My people know where I am, they’re just done with me, and I don’t have the heart to look at any of the messages they’ve sent me since I flew away.
Real talk 100, it’s going to take a while for me to reconcile leaving my family and kingdom behind.
Luckily, the dragon king’s castle is huge. It makes it easier to pretend I don’t see all those elephants creeping around the happy and drama-free relationship I’ve managed to cobble together with Damianos over the last week.
At least I thought we were happy and drama-free.
The morning before my “big day,” Damianos coldly announces he and Bazzi are going on a long distance day flight to learn about plane and drone avoidance, and it would be too much of an inconvenience for me to come along. Okay, I get that. Kinda hard to dodge flying vehicles with a she-wolf on your back. But he barely has anything to say at dinner. And right after dessert, he stands up from the table and announces, “There will be no after-dinner family activities tonight, so I will take Basileios directly to his nursery.”
Then he says, “Good night, Ola” just as I fork a huge bite of the revani Agda made into my mouth.
Why does he always bounce when I’m about to get my dessert on?
“Wait!” I try to say around the delicious syrup-soaked sweet cake.
But this time he does keep on walking. Without turning back.
I eat the rest of my dessert, and Agda comes out to clear the dishes. “No family time for the Drákons and your sweet boy tonight?” she asks, lifting her grey eyebrows.
“No, not tonight,” I answer with a little chuff. “I guess he wants a night off.”
Agda nods, her expression going from concerned to sage. “Tomorrow is your big day. Perhaps it is best that you all get some rest.”
“Yep, yep,” I agree, keeping my tone Unbothered 100.
But I am bothered. So, so bothered.
In fact, him cutting out on me is all I can think about as I make my way up the stairs back to my room. Which I’m hoping has a TV or something, since apparently it’s just me tonight. Alone.
My biosystem is turned off, but it feels like a bunch of sad face emojis are floating up my feed as I grab a pair of pajamas, and head to the bathroom to wash my face. I’d been deluding myself thinking that all this cozy family time would lead to a reboot of the relationship we had back at the North Dakota gatehouse. Reverence, my ass. More like Whateverence as far as Damianos is concerned—