Goldie and the Three Wisconsin Bears

But… “Isn’t it obvious? I’m weak and stupid and pregnant with another man’s child. How could you want me to be your wife?”

Jeb shrugs. “We’re all other men’s children, and Coach Granger took us all in. What kind of hypocrites would we be if we didn’t love your child like we would our own? We want to be good fathers. To this kid and any other ones you want to gift to us. And as for you feeling like you don’t deserve this, like you’re weak and stupid…”

Jeb shakes his head, and his voice turns vicious. “That’s him talking to you again. An asshole who would dare to lay hands on a woman as beautiful and good as you. But I’m here to tell you in person, you deserve us. You deserve everything we got to give, Goldie.”

To think I didn’t like him at first because I thought he was so mean. His kindness crumples me again, and I cry into my hands.

“I get it,” he says as I cry. “My mom’s voice stayed in my head for a long time after Coach Granger took me in. I couldn’t believe I deserved a father like him or brothers like Mitch and Nico. Not after what I did. Actually, I knew I didn’t deserve them. But then Coach Granger died, and I had to go into a boy’s home for a while. That would have been the perfect opportunity for Mitch and Nico to let me go. Busy as they were with college and football, nobody would have blamed them. Not even me. But they drove up from college to visit me once a week. They even busted me out for my birthday. Took me to one of their games then out to Taco Bell after—that used to be my favorite place to eat back in high school. And I thought just like you. That I didn’t deserve them. My mom was still in my head, telling me I ruined everything.”

I’ve stopped crying now, and I’m fully immersed in his story. Nico and Mitch warned me a few times that Jeb never talks about his past or his feelings. But here he is again, sharing the most painful parts of himself with me.

“Then, I joined the army instead of going to college like they wanted me to. I was sure that would be the end of us. But they kept in touch. Wrote me emails, FaceTimed…they were waiting at the airport after every leave. And Mitch was the one who got me the walk-on tryout for the Wisconsin Bears. They never acted like I ruined everything. In fact, according to them, our family didn’t work without me. I agreed to this wife business, but I was sure it wouldn’t end up with us living out here all happy, like Mitch and Nico imagined. I knew…knew for sure I didn’t deserve them. And I thought the break up with Charlotte proved me right.”

He looks to the house in the distance. “I was planning to go out as a free agent for the next draft. Switch teams and states, so that they’d be forced to find a wife on their own. I knew I was a deal breaker, but they were too loyal to let me go. So I was going to do the letting go for them. Then you showed up in Nico’s bedroom. I resisted at first, but when I heard your story, suddenly it all made sense…”

He turns back to me, and to my surprise, there are tears in his eyes. “You need me for this relationship to work. We understand each other because we’ve both been through some shit. A relationship between the four of us doesn’t work without me, and our brotherhood doesn’t work without you. And that’s what did it. That’s what finally faded my mother’s voice from my head. So please, Goldie, I know it’s hard to believe me. But you said it yourself. You love us too. So stay here with us while that other bastard’s voice fades from your head. Let us show you how much you deserve us. And let us prove to you how much we love you.”

I stare at him, not knowing what to say.

It’s funny because I used to be so desperate for love. After my mother died, I yearned for it so bad, it became indistinguishable from my grief. And I wanted somebody to love me so much, I pretended Tommy was the real deal.

But now love…real love…it’s looking me straight in the face. And I don’t know how to feel. Or how to accept what the men I’ve fallen in love with are offering. As jealous as I was before, I love them too much to let them marry a mess like me.

Jeb must understand my mute confusion. He drags me into his lap. And kisses me on top of my head. Just like Nico did.