“Are you aware that you’ve cut short an already paid for arrangement?”
Okay, well, I never quite got that wishing a hole would open up beneath you to save you from an embarrassing situation cliché before. But now I do. I totally, totally do.
I swallow. “No, I wasn’t aware of that,” I say, feeling terrible.
I’m kind of wishing now that Santa hadn’t raised us all to deliver zero judgment on anyone’s sexual proclivities, humans or elves. Otherwise, I might not have felt so bad about cheating this voice above me out of his paid date. Although the reason someone as ridiculously fine as this guy would buy a date is beyond me.
“I wish I could pay you back, but…” I stop, remembering the credit card Santa gave us all in case of emergencies. This wasn’t quite an emergency, but Santa was out of town at the moment, trying to get his new Mrs. Claus to come back to him. And I still had a few comics I could sell off. Maybe I could run out tomorrow between rehearsal for Krista’s Twelve Drummers piece and the official performance and acquire the human money to pay Santa back.
“Actually, I have a credit card I could use. How much did you pay for the meal and the ah…date?”
“The meal is free. Chef Ito is a personal friend.”
“Oh great,” I say, letting out a huge sigh of relief.
“But as for my date with Eloa, that costs…”
I choke on the number he quotes. A figure so high, I’m pretty sure it exceeds the limit on the card Santa gave me.
“I’m sorry,” I reply, still unable to understand why a guy this amazing in the face would pay so much for one date. “But I don’t think I can pay you back, not even if I sold my entire comic book collection.”
My confession is met with several beats of silence.
Then he says, “You could take her place.”
My belly flips, and my eyes unglue from the plate as they fly up to stare at him. Because what the Santa? Did he…?
Did he just ask me to take the place of his date?
4
J-Drama
HAYATO
I’m behaving boorishly, and I’m not certain why. This woman is obviously shyer than a schoolgirl in a J-Drama. She won’t even raise her head to speak to me. Yet I confessed to soliciting an escort, simply to shock her. Because I wanted her to look up and give me another glimpse of that adorable elf face.
Why? Again, I can’t say. If I were in a business meeting at GoNoToRobo, I’d call it new product development. Pursuing a project, just to see where it leads. Coming at it from new directions until it delivers what I want.
The escort card didn’t get her to look up, but the demand that she take Eloa’s place, that worked.
Her head has finally lifted, and now her brown eyes are on me, round and shocked.
“You’re not serious,” she says, her voice dazed like I’ve hit her with a bomb as opposed to a request for a date. “You don’t really want me to stand in for your escort tonight. I’m not, like, remotely your type.”
“I’m completely serious,” I answer, realizing it’s the truth as I say it.
The thought of spending more time and then eventually doing sexier things with the San Francisco elf doesn’t repulse me as she seems to think it should. No…not in the least.
There’s a strange hum, vibrant and anticipating, beneath my skin as I take the empty seat at her table, without waiting for her to accept my proposal.
To show both of us just how serious I am, I motion for a waiter to bring over another setup as I ask, “Also, how do you know my type?”
“I’m assuming it’s the tall, hot Giselle lookalike that just walked out of here,” she answers, casting her eyes away again. “You literally picked her out of a lineup, right?”
“Yes, that is right. But is also neither here nor there,” I say as our hassun course arrives, a few variations on engawa sushi accompanied by several side dishes.
I notice her noticing that we’re the first in the restaurant to be served, now that I’ve sat down across from her. I also notice her noticing that I’m following her every move. Every time her eyes raise, mine are there waiting. It’s rude, especially by Japanese standards. I should probably look away. But I don’t. I like the nuances of her features. I also enjoy studying the many expressions flitting across her adorable brown face.
I wait until all the plates have been set down before asking, “So now that you’re officially my new date, perhaps you should tell me what happened to the old one.”
Her eyes lower to her plate again, making me miss them. “Oh, that’s super private and not my story to tell.”