Twelve Months of Kristal: 50 Loving States Maine

The atmosphere inside the workshop is warm and filled with good cheer. A host of giant red and green metal machines take up most of the room on what looks like a factory floor. But planks line the floors instead of the concrete, like at the Nakamura Worldwide manufacturing plants. And though the machines gleam under huge vintage cage lamps, even with my automotive experience, I couldn’t even begin to guess what they were meant to make.

What sounds like a 60s girl group version of the song “Sleigh Ride” plays overhead, and most of the incredibly diverse group of partygoers in elf hats are either shouting over or dancing to the joyous Christmas music. A few of them are even singing along.

For a moment, I look around, entirely stymied by the Where’s Waldo situation finding Kristal in this crowd has suddenly become.

“Excuse me,” I ask two people in elf hats, talking to each other nearby. They have glass mugs of what looks like apple cider with sticks of cinnamon in their hands. “Do you know where I might find Kristal Kringle?”

“Kristal, ending with a t-a-l, t-i-l, t-y-l, or l-e?” the one, who also looks to be of Asian descent, asks.

“Ah, t-a-l,” I answer, though I’m not sure.

“Okay then, is it the Kristal from the Distribution, Manufacturing, or List Control department?”

Instead of answering a question I don’t know and drawing further suspicion, I tell them I’ll look for her myself.

As I’m wading through party-goers in elf hats, a voice suddenly squeals, “Oh my Santa, whoever you are, I’m SO happy you’re here!”

In the next moment, a heavily pregnant version of the other black woman from the picture I sighted back in Japan appears in front of me along with Hugh Edgeworth, the GoX Chief Project Manager who didn’t answer his phone.

She somehow manages to wrap me in a bear hug, despite her swollen stomach. “HOLLY-lujah, I can’t wait to introduce you to your True Love. I’ve been wanting to match her for ages!”

My True Love? What in the…

“Krista, darling, remember what I told you about hugging people without asking permission?” Hugh Edgeworth says, peeling his wife off of me. “It really isn’t done. Especially in certain cultures, and Mr. Nakamura is from Japan.”

Krista pouts in a way that can’t quite reach her twinkling eyes. “I know, I know. But come on, he’s here for dinner with my favorite elf in the whole wide world. How can I not hug him?”

“Well, you might start with trying to engender within yourself some cultural sensitivity when it comes to your particular fierce manner of hugging. Then you might—Krista? Krista, where are you taking him?” Hugh Edgeworth called after his wife when she grabbed my hand and started dragging me along behind her in a shockingly strong grip.

“To meet his True Love for dinner, of course,” she calls over her shoulder. “He’s her perfect match! And it’s happening at Christmas. You don’t get more auspicious than that!”

“Aw, yes, I can actually see this True Love match quite clearly as well,” the surprisingly strong woman’s husband says as he follows along after us. “But perhaps we should ease Mr. Nakamura, one of the major investors at the company I currently work at, into this dinner invitation. That way, I might have less chance of getting fired?”

“Who would fire someone who introduced them to their True Love?” Krista asks, shaking her head as if her husband is the crazy one pulling a stranger behind him and not her. “This relationship is going to be sooooo romantic and beautiful. I can already tell. This will be my most perfect match yet!”

Perfect match? Relationship? Alarm bells go off in the back of my mind.

“Excuse me, but I am not looking for a match or a relationship,” I tell her, using nearly all my strength to pull my arm out of her vice grip. “I am only here to find someone who I believe might be at this party. Her name is—

“HEY, KRISTAL!” Hugh Edgeworth's’ wife suddenly starts waving her hand in the direction of a raised DJ stand. “Kristal! Kristal! Over here! Guess who’s come for dinner? This insanely hot Japanese guy. And he’s your True Christmas Love!”

I falter, blood rushing into my ears when I see the DJ standing behind a turntable with actual records. It’s Kristal! Her hair is black now, not brassy blonde, but it is definitely her. Big and beautiful underneath her elf hat and wearing another dress with a sweetheart neckline--this time, it’s red, though. Judging from the turntable tonearm she’s holding up, frozen in mid-air, she was in the process of putting a new record on when Krista called out for her.

The party had been loud and jolly when I walked in, but now it’s silent as all the people wearing elf hats turn to stare at me for a shocked second…before bursting into applause.