Twelve Months of Kristal: 50 Loving States Maine

She audibly gasps when she sees me standing there with Kristal.

“Oh, my God, Hayato! You’re here! Like, actually here. And you brought a date!”

I inwardly grimace, remembering too late that my older half-brother Tetsuro and his heavily blended family have made it a new tradition to visit Norio over the New Year’s holiday. Ever since making up shortly before our father’s death, my older brothers have grown much closer even though Tetsuro greatly surprised our family by choosing Tasha as his second wife. Not only is she African-American, but she’s his complete opposite—loud and talkative, where he is quiet and reserved.

“Hello, Tasha,” I say, hoping she will take my cue and match my lowered tone.

No such luck.

“Hey, Everybody,” she yells even louder over her shoulder. “Hayato is here! And he brought a date!”

Kristal looks up at me, her nose wrinkled with sweet confusion. “Have you never brought a date home before?”

“No, he has not! Never in the whole history of me knowing him!” Tasha answers Kristal before I can. And, she somehow manages to increase the volume of her voice as she calls, “Did you hear me? Hayato is here! AND HE BROUGHT A DATE!!!”

There comes the sound of multiple footsteps, and soon a crowd appears behind Tasha in the long entrance hallway. There’s Norio’s wife, Lilli, with my nephews, Dallas and Montana, running close behind her. Ruby, Lilli’s orphaned half-Japanese teenage niece, whom Lilli and Norio adopted four years ago, scolds her little brothers and tells them to slow down. Ruby’s voice still carries a faint Japanese accent, but it is not nearly as thick as when I first met her in Japan.

My half-brother, Tetsuro, walks behind them, holding hands with his youngest child, Antoine, a five-year-old boy. Gracie, his eight-year-old daughter, walks beside Spidey, his and Tasha’s adopted nine-year-old. Last but not least, Tetsuro’s son, Kenji, and Tasha’s daughter, Sparkle, the two autistic teens who set up Tasha and Tetsuro eight years ago, bring up the rear.

“We heard you,” Kenji answers Tasha, his voice annoyed but tonally flat. “We couldn’t come right away because Dad was lecturing us about not embarrassing Uncle Hayato in front of his date.”

“Well, you just spoiled that plan,” Spidey points out. At age nine, he has much more emotional intelligence than his teenage brother.

Tetsuro throws me an apologetic look. But before he can say sorry, Dallas and Montana, Norio’s two young sons, nearly knock me over with leg hugs.

“Unca! Unca!” Montana yells.

Meanwhile, Dallas grins up at Kristal and cheers, “Yay, Uncle Hi has a new wife! We get another black auntie for Christmas!”

“Dal, they’re dating, not married,” Ruby corrects.

“At least not yet,” Tasha sing-songs. She pulls Kristal in for a bear hug. “Come here, you! Did I mention he hasn’t ever brought anybody home before?”

I scowl at my older brother. His lecture wasn’t nearly strong enough.

But if Kristal is upset by any of this, it doesn’t show. She happily introduces herself and returns all of the hugs, smiles, and bows that come her way.

Kristal fits right in, I realize as I watch her navigate my huge family. A warm feeling washes over me, and suddenly, Dallas isn’t the only one imagining me married to Kristal. What would it be like to be wed to someone who truly understands me? To start a family with that same someone?

I don’t know what’s more surprising. That new idea. Or the fact that it doesn’t upset me.

Either way… I stare at Kristal, the desire to keep her so intense, it feels like a bomb ticking inside my chest.

35

I Just Want to Celebrate

KRISTAL

I have mixed feelings about Rare Earth.

Even if they were the only successful white act signed to Motown back in the day, one could argue that they were part of the 70s rampant whitewashing of black music problem. They were even name-checked in that famous Gil Scott-Heron song. Apparently, they were one of the white bands who would not be allowed to write the theme song for the black revolution, which would not be televised. Usually, I asked Jae-Hyun if he could play something else when he tried to put on one of their records.

But when I meet Hayato’s huge family and the compulsion to draw doesn’t hit me, like, at all –it’s Rare Earth’s version of “I Just Want to Celebrate” that starts playing on a happy loop in my head.

I notice Hayato watching me intently as I greet the black teen girl and the Asian teen boy who Tasha introduced as “The Twins” for some reason. He must be worried.

So as soon as I’m done telling the two teenagers that it’s nice to meet them, I rush to whisper to Hayato, “No drawings!”

I’m trying to let him know there’s no need to worry about me embarrassing him — at least as long as no one asks me a direct question about what I do for a living.