Twelve Months of Kristal: 50 Loving States Maine

“Oh dear Lord, please tell me Mr. Nakamura, Lilli, and Ruby are okay. I cannot take another tragedy.”

“No, no, they’re all okay,” I say quickly, feeling guilty about alarming her. “It’s just we have something — something that belongs to you.”

I pull out the dusty velvet box that we found hidden underneath a floorboard in the guardhouse where Dallas Montana used to live. “Dallas wanted you to have this. In fact, that was his very last wish.”

I open the box to reveal the simple engagement ring inside and extend it toward her. At first, her face softens. But then it hardens. “Why would you bring that thing here?”

She’s looking at the piece of jewelry inside the velvet box like it’s a dead rat, not the engagement ring her boyfriend had been planning to give her before he died.

“I’ve been trying to get over Dallas for four years. Four years!” she screeches at me. “And now, you appear at my door with this ring he was planning to give me? How am I supposed to respond to this ring? How can I…?”

She dissolves into tears.

I’m not sure what to do. I thought she would be happy. I thought this would be the opposite of drawing a picture of a soon-to-be-departed loved one. But it’s not, and I don’t know what to say to help her with her pain.

I’m surprised when Hayato steps forward.

“This ring is a symbol of Mr. Montana’s love. This ring should give you peace,” he tells her. “Mr. Montana died, but he was happy before he died. Because of you. You are what made his death tolerable. And that is why he wants you to have this. He wants you to keep this ring and know that he loved you. But he also wants you to move on and find someone who makes you as happy as you made him.”

A transformation comes over Uta as Hayato speaks. Her shoulders stop shaking with sobs. And by the time he’s done talking, she’s smiling—at least a little bit.

She sniffs. “Do you really think I made him happy? That his death was okay because of me?”

“Yes, because of you,” Hayato assures her, his voice quiet and sincere. “Because he loved you.”

More tears spill from Uta’s eyes. But she’s nodding now. And it sounds like she’s remembering something previously forgotten when she says, “Yes, yes, he loved me. And I loved him. And for a while, we were happy. Truly happy.”

She sniffs again. Then she wipes her tears away. “May I… May I have the ring he wanted to give me?”

“Of course!” I press the open box into her trembling hands. “It’s yours. It’s always been yours. We just had to find it for Dallas.”

So no…

It wasn’t the most straightforward resolution we’ve made on a spirit’s behalf. But it feels right.

Hayato and I drive back to the Lake Washington mansion in companionable silence. And after we enter the house, Hayato looks toward the staircase. “He’s gone.”

He’s gone…

I’m happy for Dallas, but I have to ask Hayato, “How did you…? How did you know what to say to her? Exactly what to say to make her feel better?”

He looks at me for the longest time. And in the strangest way. His eyes are two pools of black, dark and aching, and it feels like I’m falling into them.

But the sound of faraway beeping disrupts the moment. And the landing above us suddenly fills with noise.

It’s almost 8 AM, I realize with a jolt. Time for our date with the sunrise.

We all gather together on the mansion’s flat roof and watch the sun come up over the tree line. Together. Without warning, a hand wraps around mine. It’s Hayato. Being openly affectionate, right here in front of his family.

He doesn’t seem to notice or care about all the people standing around us as he says, “Stay with me. Don’t return to your job. Forget our deal. Come to Japan with me and stay.”

He swallows hard before adding, “Please. I want you to stay. I want you to stay with me.”

Oh, Hayato…

Both my chest and stomach cave in. It’s like a bomb of guilt and sorrow has exploded inside of me, triggered by his invitation.

“I want to stay with you. You don’t know how bad I want to do that.”

I’m not Uta. Neither of us is dead. But I feel like sobbing as I answer, “But I can’t. I can’t stay with you.”

Don’t embarrass Hayato.

That was all I wanted. It was my only goal for this unexpected visit. But I can feel his family’s eyes on me, quiet and shocked.

I’ve embarrassed him. I’m embarrassing him. And there’s nothing I can do to make this better.

Hayato flinches hard like he’s just taken a punch. But then his eyes heat with anger. “So you don’t want to stay with me beyond the twelve days of Christmas? You’d rather work for free in a factory?”