Twelve Months of Kristal: 50 Loving States Maine

“Oh, I suspect she won’t be allowed to stay down for long,” Hugh answers. “Krista went upstairs to rouse her a few minutes ago, and my wife is rather aggressive about cheering people up. Too aggressive, really. I have to hide in the washroom every time I want to shed a few tears over Arsenal losing a footie match.”

Hugh is trying to inject humor into the situation. But at the mention of a washroom, I remember the first time I was on this plane with Kristal.

How I placed her on the sink in the washroom and took her hard and fast. I have been crazed but also electrified. In a lifetime of feeling much like the ghosts I pretended not to see, she made me feel alive.

“Any road, she’s here with us, safe and sound. No need to worry.” Hugh breaks off my memory with his genial assurance. “At least until it’s time for her to go back to her job at the workshop.”

I’ve gotten the answer to my questions. Kristal is fine. As Hugh said, she is safe and sound with her friends. I should hang up. But instead, I ask, “Your wife. She’s an elf too?”

There’s a long silence on the other side of the phone. Then: “So Kristal told you about all of that. How did you take it?”

“I had no idea how nice this would feel. To be believed. To be seen. For the very first time.”

The memory stabs at me. But I keep my voice neutral as I answer, “I believed her. And that made her happy. At least for a little while.”

“Good for you. I wish I had come around to believing sooner myself,” Hugh confesses. “But this business with the elves. It all seems rather fantastical until it doesn’t, I’m afraid. So did she tell you her real name then?”

I start. “Kristal isn’t her real name?”

“No, they’re all assigned various names that begin with KR when Santa adopts them. It’s all a bit culty if you ask me. They usually don’t even reveal their real names to each other! Not until they’ve officially fallen in love. So if Kristal didn’t tell you her real name…”

“She didn’t love me,” I finish for Hugh, a new and even more miserable feeling shooting through me.

“Oh well, I wouldn’t say that. Krista says that True Love is True Love, and the rest is human denial.”

“What does that mean?” I ask, shaking my head.

“I’m not quite certain,” he answers, an unsure note lifting his voice to a higher register. “But perhaps either you or Kristal is afraid of True Love. I mean, I was myself, so I completely understand. Krista terrified me. And some days, it still feels rather overwhelming to care about someone this much and this truly--especially someone as loony as Krista. But I’m growing more used to it by the day. And I’m no matchmaker, but perhaps I could call Kristal to the phone, and you two could talk, just talk about the possibility of giving your true love another go?”

The suggestion floods me with more memories.

All the times Kristal and I made love…

Kissing on the beach in Maine while the waves crashed in the background as if they were attempting to mimic our emotions…

Walking through the snow to Siobhan’s house.

Kristal singing “White Rabbit”…

Kristal and I singing “California Dreamin’” together… in perfect harmony.

“How did you…? How did you know what to say to her? Exactly what to say to make her feel better?”

My brothers’ families had interrupted before I could answer her question out loud. But the words appeared in my head as I watched her greet the children with a cheerful smile. I knew because of you. You have changed me. Made me better. Allowed me to access parts of me I never knew I had before.

That was just an hour before I sent her away. A thick lump of emotion clogs my throat.

“So how about it? Would you like me to call Kristal downstairs?” Hugh asks on the other side of the line.

Before I can answer, I hear Kristal’s voice in the distance. “Hugh! Hugh! It’s time! The baby is coming!”

“She’s coming?” Hugh’s voice goes from calm and reassuring to breathless and excited. “Sorry, Mr. Nakamura. We’ll have to continue this conversation another time. It would seem my first child has decided to arrive early.”

“Congrat—”

Hugh hangs up before I can finish congratulating him, too eager to begin his next phase of life as a father to stay on the line.

The stewardess chooses that moment to return with my beer. “Here you go, Mr. Nakamura. Please fasten your seatbelt. We are about to take off.”

Home. I’m going home, finally.

I think of my last sight of Kristal, climbing into Norio’s car. And something cracks in my chest as I remember how she looked back at me before getting in, the cold Seattle wind whipping her hair.