Twelve Months of Kristal: 50 Loving States Maine

I asked the question, but my heart cracks at the answer.

Kristal… Dorie… she's right. Knowing her real name does make it harder.

I don't realize the stoic mask I've been wearing all day has fallen until Kristal begins to cry. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it harder. I was so afraid of getting hurt, but now look at what I've done to you. To us. This is all my fault. And I'm so, so sorry…"

I pull her close, holding her tight to me while I still can. "Don't be sorry. You made this great sacrifice because you are kind and noble. From the beginning, you've only wanted the best for everyone. Even your one-night stand. This is what makes you, you. And this is the reason I will miss you while we are apart."

My words only make her cry that much harder.

But we continue dancing. Long after Hugh's song is done.

We dance and dance until she says, "Only twenty more minutes until the workshop blinks away from this dimension. Walk me home?"

My only option is to wait.

I walk her home, back inside the workshop.

And we’re not a J-Drama. But I feel like one of the more tragic ones when I pull her into my arms, hugging her tight. She's no longer crying, but she clings to me like she is.

It only feels like a few seconds go by. But eventually, a voice overhead announces, "Two more minutes until the closing of the workshop. All guests should vacate the premises. Two more minutes."

When we finally pull away, Krista's eyes are once again brimming with tears. "I'm sorry. And I hope I see you next Christmas when the workshop comes back. I understand if I don't. But I hope I do."

All I can do is wait.

Without warning, my life flashes before my eyes.

My teenage years when I learned not to acknowledge the ghosts….

Holding Satomi’s body in my arms….

Lying to my therapists at the sanitorium…

Watching my mother die right in front of me…

Dragging Koyamo out of the Tokyo residence after Satomi tried to use her to confront my father. And then, breaking things off with her for reasons she didn’t understand.

Meeting Kristal…

She dazzles me across a small table.

She kisses me even when I tell her she’s not allowed.

She can never stay still when I’m on top of her.

And she’s better than any other woman I’ve ever met.

She makes me a better person.

She makes everything in my life better.

The highlight reel fades away as Kristal’s words from earlier echo in my mind.

Santa only makes deals that are in your best interest. Like, he doesn’t agree to anything that won’t ultimately benefit you.

What if the answer to my problem comes down to doing what would best benefit Kristal. Not me. Not figuring out how to keep her. But figuring out how to make her life better.

I am my father’s son. I've never been brave. Not when it comes to relationships.

But after a lifetime of doing what would serve my best interests, or protecting myself above all others, I swallow and tell Kristal the truth she deserves to hear. The truth I’ve been keeping inside during our ten days together. Possibly from the first moment we met.

"I love you,” I tell her. “I truly love you."

She inhales sharply, then turns her face away. As if I've hit her, not professed my true love.

I take her by the chin and gently force her to meet my eyes. "Do you love me?"

More tears spill onto her cheeks, and her voice sounds broken as she answers, "This is not the time to start a deep conversation. We have less than two minutes. You have to leave."

But I don't move. I don't let her look away. I only ask again, "Dorie, do you love me? Do you love me like I love you?"

Kristal looks at me for a long helpless second. Then her face crumples, and she nods. "Yes, I love you. I love you so much. And I'm glad Jae-Hyun got his closure, even if he turned out to be a morally questionable and seriously problematic ghost. But this is breaking my heart."

Mine too.

My only option is to wait.

353 days.

But I'm a Nakamura.

We pivot. We adapt. We fight.

And Krista was right. This is True Love.

Letting go of Kristal's chin, I pull out my phone and start typing out a text.

"One minute until we return to the North Pole!" an elf calls out over the speaker.

"What are you doing?" Kristal asks, "You have to get out of here…"

She trails off when I turn the phone around to show her what I've written. A message addressed to Hugh, Norio, and Go.

"Have decided to take a year-long sabbatical to be with the love of my life. I won't be back or reachable until Christmas Day. Hugh Edgeworth will explain everything."

She reads it. Then she looks up at me, her eyes shining and bright. "Do you mean it? Do you really mean it?"