We Have Till Monday

I’d actually started out thinking that Mr. Fender could be, as Daddy called it, some eye candy. But then I’d figured out that Anthony was most definitely gay, which had opened up the door to better ideas.

“So can I pick him as one of the winners?” I asked.

Daddy laughed under his breath and straightened in his seat. “Sure. But quit stalkin’ the man, little one. Let Clara contact the winners.”

I pouted. I wanted to contact him!

Daddy smacked a kiss to my pout. “I won’t tell you twice. We have a more important thing to discuss.”

Oh? What could be more important than finding someone to play with?

Daddy’s warm gaze softened, and he touched my cheek. “It’s been weeks since you regressed.”

Darn it. Of course he’d noticed. He’d hinted at it before, too.

I shrugged and set down the tablet. “You know how it is. That urge comes and goes as it pleases.”

It wasn’t technically a lie.

Not that Daddy cared about technicalities…

He sighed and slipped his hands under my arms, then grunted as he picked me up and positioned me on his lap.

I wasn’t ready for this talk. I didn’t wanna go there, not when I had a plan that could fix everything. It was a master plan. A genius plan. The beginning would hopefully include a certain New Yorker when he came down to Nashville next spring, and then…maybe once Daddy got a taste for adding a third for our playtime, he might open up to the possibility of finding someone to take that spot permanently.

Someone who fit right in. Someone who could complete our dynamic. Then Daddy wouldn’t feel lonely when I did regress.

“You have to talk to me, Camden.” Daddy brushed back some hair that’d gotten in my eyes. “You’re the happiest when you revert to my little baby boy, and I love seeing you so carefree and mischievous.”

I grinned a little at the last part. And he wasn’t wrong at all. The problem was that our kinks became a double-edged sword when we let go of all our inhibitions and sank into the roles we loved the most. I wasn’t always a sexual Little; I required more space and had my own room for a reason. My touches were often laced with innocence and curiosity, whereas Daddy was very sexual and very affectionate.

I wanted to sleep alone, buried in a mountain of stuffed animals. My room was a kid’s room. I had my Star Wars Lego collection, my computer games, my coloring books, my action figures, my arts and crafts boxes…

Most of the time, when I really regressed, sex wasn’t on my mind. Only sometimes.

I believed Daddy when he said he loved seeing me that way. He showed it all the time, and he was the best Daddy in the whole galaxy. But he also had his own needs, and whenever he shouldered the role of protector and caregiver, I knew he’d feel even better if he had someone next to him. A partner.

I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Talk to me,” Daddy urged quietly.

I didn’t know what to say! He already knew. He knew of our dilemma. We both wanted a lifestyle. This wasn’t a game or something we just enjoyed as an occasional spice. When we were home, we wanted to be Daddy and Little to the fullest. But we couldn’t. Not for longer periods of time, and a weekend here and there just hurt my brain. I needed a lot of cushion to come out from a regressive phase.

And I wouldn’t have Daddy sacrifice his own needs for love and sexual affection just so I could be Little.

We’d made it work for six years. He was willing to go further—he’d do anything to protect our relationship. I wasn’t as concerned to seek alternative options, just like we’d done in the beginning when it was more play than love. I had faith in our trust in each other. I believed we were solid.

So I was going to hunt down a darn solution.

Chapter 1

State I’m In

“Next up, straight from Brooklyn! Give it up for The Second Initiative!”

It was a freaking rush to hear the people cheering right away. Maybe they were drunk already. They hadn’t fucking heard us yet. But I took advantage, quickly plugged in my guitar, and took a chord, holding it in place to pour a feedback effect out of the speakers and through the crowd. Then I took my spot in front of my mic and my overdrive on the floor, pressed down the pedal as Luiz hit the hi-hat, and Nicky followed suit. As the music exploded, so did the stage. Spotlights lit us up and killed the nerves.

I threw myself into the song, managing to block the outside world like I hadn’t been able to do this morning.

I’m leaving…in the morning.

I don’t…I don’t know where I’m going.