Her hand went to her chest and dropped just as quickly, her expression empty.
He was convinced now, more than ever, that she wasn’t a trained sex spy. While she excelled at putting on an act, she hadn’t mastered the unresponsive austerity of a swallow. She reacted emotionally on impulse. It was subtle, but he caught the little twitches and nuances before she blanked her face.
Maybe she was pretending to be a swallow? But for what reason? The same reason she left him in the dark to fantasize about her for a month?
Because she was fucking with him. Or trying to.
He relaxed against the pallet, curious to see what she would do next.
She washed him. Starting at his feet, she worked her way up his legs. When he halfheartedly tried to kick her, she gripped his knee to hold him down and slid her fingers along his inner thigh.
Heat swept through him as her hands roamed where Danni’s had gone before. In rigid silence, he watched her clean his cock and learn the shape of him, her fingers traveling the same path Danni’s mouth had been so many times, so long ago.
He fought down the noises that tried to crawl from his throat. Noises of objection. And consent. And reprehensible guilt.
His molars clenched tight, his breaths snapping past his teeth in choppy bursts. Pleasure fused with torment, his body warring with his mind. He wanted it. He didn’t want it.
He needed to focus before he fucking lost it.
The ends of her hair brushed his skin, tickling his legs as she lathered and laved. There was no seduction in her touch, the scrubbing efficient and impersonal. Coldly detached.
She wasn’t trying to tease him. This was a bath, nothing more. Yet, it was everything.
He throbbed, burning for her. He thought he might die if he didn’t get inside her. At the same time, he didn’t want her. She was the wrong woman. She wasn’t his girl.
Christ, he needed to man the fuck up and get over that. Right now.
Logic over emotion, his mind was in control.
He was going to survive. And to do that, he had to do her.
It was just sex.
If Cole remained in control, if he kept himself detached, he could use it as a weapon.
Not an easy undertaking with Lydia’s warmth bearing down upon him, so achingly close, shocking his system. Her sweet cherry scent drugged his inhales. Her beauty, even smothered in makeup, drew him in like a supernatural spell.
She washed every inch of his rigid cock, his balls, and farther back, into the recesses of his crack, her fingers like tiny knives slicing their way through his dignity.
Then she took away her touch, her intoxicating heat, and stepped back. With the hose in hand, she sprayed him off like an animal, her stance and expression matching the blast of the water. Cold, aggressive, merciless.
Something felt off about her. She was normally closed-off, but this was different. She suddenly looked way too wooden, her gaze too unfocused, as if she’d retreated into her head. Either she was trying to put herself in a zone, or she was having second thoughts about seducing him.
By the time she shut off the water, she’d completely killed his erection.
The hose dangled from her hand, her gaze fixed over his shoulder, staring at nothing.
“Lydia.”
She blinked. Her brow creased, and her eyes went to his mouth, then lower, taking a winding trip from his chest to his soft dick. “I don’t want to do this.”
Yes, she did. But not for the reason in which she’d been hired.
“Just give me a name, a location, something.” She glared at him, her jaw flexing. “You don’t give a fuck about that hard drive. Tell me where it is.”
“Tell me what’s on it.”
“If I do, will you give me—?”
“No.”
She pulled in a breath, standing taller, her posture vibrating with indignation. Then she tossed the hose, turned on her heel, and strode toward the door.
She was leaving.
Dread slammed into him, exploding his pulse. He couldn’t spend another month in the dark. Goddammit, he couldn’t lose this opportunity with her.
“You’re scared,” he said to her retreating backside.
She stopped, her spine stiff as she cast a scowl over her shoulder. “Excuse me?”
“You scrubbed me clean because you intended to seduce me. Because you have it in your head that if you wrap that hot little cunt around my dick, my brain will fry, and I’ll tell you everything I know. The problem with that plan is you want me. Not just to milk me for information. You want to milk my cock because you’re wet for it. You’ve been wet for me since the day I tied the soaked crotch of your underwear around my hand.”
She slowly pivoted, facing him with flames in her eyes. “I am not—”
“It scares you, this reckless infatuation you have with me. It scares you so much you’re running.”