“Now you can't pretend anymore.”
I nodded. “I'm afraid for you, afraid of how all this trouble between the Vampires and Werewolves will end.”
“Come here.”
Rising from my chair, I went into his arms.
“You don't have to worry about me,” he said, his fingertips stroking my arm. “I can take care of myself. And you, too.”
I hoped he was right, but only time would tell. Resting my head on his shoulder, I closed my eyes. The future would take care of itself. Right now, I was where I most wanted to be.
“This won't be easy,” Raphael murmured, his breath warm against my neck.
“I know.”
“For your sake, we'd better take it slow.”
I kissed his cheek. “Slow.”
He turned his head, his lips seeking mine, his tongue like a flame as it dueled with my own. For a moment, I lost myself in his touch, thinking how amazing it was that he was here, that I was in his arms.
“Rafe…”
He drew back a little, his gaze seeking mine. “You want me to stop?”
“No, I…”Might as well just say it, I thought, then blurted, “I think I love you.”
“I think I love you, too.”
“This complicates things even more, doesn't it?” I asked. Lust and love were two different animals. Lust was a selfish beast. It had no responsibilities, implied no lasting commitment, no concern for the other's happiness or welfare. But love, ah, love required caring and commitment, it meant putting another's wants and needs before one's own. Lust was fleeting; true love lasted forever.
“In a way,” Raphael agreed, kissing the tip of my nose. “On the other hand, it's nice to know where we stand.”
Drawing me into his arms once more, he lowered his head and kissed me again and yet again, each kiss deeper and more intimate than the last. His hands moved lightly over my body, as if he wanted to memorize every curve. Had I been a cat, I would have arched my back and purred with pleasure. As it was, I couldn't restrain the soft moans that rose in my throat as he caressed me, nor could I resist an exploration of my own.
I loved the feel of his skin beneath my hands, the way his muscles bunched and quivered at my touch. I lay back on the sofa and drew him down on top of me, basking in the feel of his body lying atop mine, the heat of his arousal pressing against my thigh.
I was lost in the taste of him, the touch of him, until I felt his fangs at my throat.
It cooled my desire as quickly as cold water doused a fire. “Raphael?”
Muttering an oath, he rolled off me and gained his feet.
I sat up, staring at his back, watching as he raked a hand through his hair, then curled his hands into tight fists at his sides. He was breathing heavily. A leftover remnant of his desire, I wondered, or a sign of his hunger?
“Rafe…?”
He lifted one hand. “Give me a minute.”
I grew increasingly nervous as I sat there watching him. Was he subduing his hunger or getting ready to pounce? Only moments ago, he had warned me that our relationship could be dangerous for me.
I glanced around the room, seeking a way out, seeking a weapon. I found neither. Raphael stood between me and the front door, blocking my only exit. My chance of finding a weapon seemed equally slim since I didn't keep a ready supply of holy water or hawthorn stakes on hand. And even if I did, there was no way I could have used either one on Rafe. That fact alone told me I was in far deeper than I'd thought.
A shudder ran through his entire body and then, slowly, he turned to face me, his expression a little sheepish as his gaze met mine. “I'm sorry,” he said. “I should have warned you.”
“Warned me? About what?”
“With us, the urge to make love and the urge to feed are strongly connected. For us, the taking of blood enhances our emotions and our pleasure.”
“Oh.” Once again, I had learned more than I really wanted to know.
“The idea repulses you?”
“I don't know about that, but it doesn't thrill me.” I wondered how his mother had handled it before she was turned. Had she let Rafe's father drink from her? Dared I ask?
Did I really want to know?
“Kathy…I don't want to lose you….”
My heart squeezed painfully in my chest as I waited for him to go on. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what he was about to say.
“I thought we could make this work, but…” He shook his head. “I'd never intentionally hurt you, but…dammit, what if I can't help myself? Just now I wanted to taste you, and I was close to taking what I wanted, so close…”
“But you didn't.”
“What if I can't stop myself next time?”
“I don't know.” Maybe he was right. Maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore, yet even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew it wasn't what I wanted. Right or wrong, for better or worse, I was head over heels in love with a Vampire.
Chapter Thirteen
“How did your mother handle it?” I asked. “You know, when your father wanted to, uh, taste her?”
Though we were sitting side by side on the sofa, Rafe was careful not to touch me. I appreciated his caution even as I longed for his touch. I was acutely aware of his nearness. His right shoulder and thigh were only inches from mine. The scent of his cologne tickled my nostrils.
“From what I gather, she wasn't aware of it the first time.”
“Really? What did he do,” I asked, “drink from her while she was asleep?”
“No, while they were making love.”
“Oh. Oh!”
He smiled faintly. “They were making love the second time, too.”
“Did she know it that time?” And even as I asked the question, I wondered how he knew the intimate details of his parents' love life.
“Yes, and many times thereafter.”
“I don't believe you. How could anyone enjoy being bitten, or having someone drink their blood while they were making love? It's…it's…” I searched for a word that would describe how I felt without offending him. They were his parents, after all.
He supplied some adjectives for me. “Gross? Disgusting? Barbaric? Repulsive? Nauseating? Horrific?” He lifted one brow. “Should I go on?”
“No, I think you've covered it pretty well.”
Ever so slowly and provocatively, he ran the tip of one finger down the side of my neck. It was the lightest of sensations, like a downy feather brushing over my skin. “Why don't you try it and see for yourself?”