HATE LOVE

After Mia sent me away, I drove back to my hotel in a daze. I collapsed onto the bed without flipping on the light. Mia was lost to me. She was never going to take me back. The disgusted look on her face when she came to the door seared through my heart.

Could I blame her?

Who would believe such a crazy story? A doctored sex video? The Board's request we get married? My genuine desire to marry her?

It was all a complete mess. If I was Mia, I wouldn't believe a single thing I was saying either.

Her beautiful face wouldn’t get out of my head. She was my ultimate choice for a wife, a partner, someone to share my life with. I threw my fist down into the pillow. My anger at myself overpowered my sadness.

How did I not see the signs that Penny was in love with me? Her mood swings every time Mia was around. Her bitchy attitude for the last few months.

Penny was certifiable crazy enough she could have hurt Mia and I was too stupid to even see it. If Mia didn’t want me, no one could blame her.

Now, I was in this tiny town on the outskirts of Los Angeles, missing Mia terribly. I'd left San Francisco in a hurry, not telling anyone where I was. Obviously, I no longer had an assistant I could call to smooth things over for me.

Who the fuck cared anymore?

I'd missed countless meetings. The Board was going to probably fire me anyway since I'd been ditching meetings and not responding to any of their calls. Brandon and Warren had been blowing up my phone, but I couldn't answer them. Nothing mattered to me, but Mia.

I could handle losing Pictogram. Shit. Building another tech company was doable. Pictogram could be replaced, but I couldn't replace Mia. She was everything to me. And because of my carelessness, she was lost to me forever.

How was I ever going to recover from this?

I'd finally fallen in love and the woman I loved so much wanted nothing to do with me. From the beginning, I should have told her about the Board's demands I marry her. That way, when I proposed to her, everything was out in the open. Then it would have seemed more genuine when I proposed from my heart.

Instead, I thought everything was just going to fall into place. It didn't. Keeping that information about the Board from Mia was essentially lying to her. I didn't blame her for never wanting to see me again.

I lay face down with my face pressed into a pillow and another over my head. I wanted to disappear, fade away into the darkness. Without Mia by my side, I felt more lost than ever before.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I flung the pillow off my head to be sure. Yup. Someone was knocking, but I wasn't interested in fresh towels or any other kind of bullshit disturbance by the hotel maintenance. I just wanted to lie in the dark and feel sorry for myself.

But the knock on the door continued.

I groaned, “Go away!”

For love of God, couldn't a guy wallow in regret and sadness in peace?

Soon, the knocks became insistent.

For fuck’s sake.

I climbed up off the bed, pissed now. Whoever it was better have a good reason to harass me like this! I threw the door open without even looking in the peep hole or flipping on the lights.

“What?” I shouted.

But, it wasn't hotel management or housekeeping. It was Mia standing there with her beautiful face startled into shock. “I'm sorry...I…I shouldn't have come,” she stuttered as she began to walk away.

I wrapped my arms around her before she could move a muscle. “I didn’t think it would be you. How did you find me?”

Mia chuckled softly. “There are only three hotels in Carpinteria. This was the second hotel I've been to.”

I pulled her closer to me, smelling her hair. My heart ached. I'd missed her so much. “I'm so sorry,” I sputtered. “I should have told you everything. I guess I was afraid you'd leave me, but then, you left me anyway.”

Mia shook her head. “I should have believed you in the first place. Penny drove us apart. She knew I'd fall for it because I still hadn't believed you actually loved me. I have insecurities, Theo and I let them blind me to the truth.”

I held her face in my hands. “What? I love you so much. You've got to believe that.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “It's hard to believe someone like you would love me.”