The Princess Diaries (The Princess Diaries 1)

Something has just got to give.

Tuesday, October 7

Ode to Algebra

Thrust into this dingy classroom

we die like lampless moths

locked into the desolation of

fluorescent lights and metal desks.

Ten minutes until the bell rings.

What use is the quadratic formula

in our daily lives?

Can we use it to unlock the secrets

in the hearts of those we love?

Five minutes until the bell rings.

Cruel Algebra teacher,

won’t you let us go?

HOMEWORK

> Algebra: problems 17–30 on handout

English: proposal

World Civ: questions at end of Chapter 7

G & T: none

French: huit phrase, ex. A, pg. 31

Biology: worksheet

Wednesday, October 8

Oh no.

She’s here.

Well, not here, exactly. But she’s in this country. She’s in the city. She’s only like fifty-seven blocks away, as a matter of fact. She’s staying at the Plaza, with Dad. Thank God. Now I’ll only have to see her after school and on the weekends. It would suck so bad if she were staying here.

It’s pretty awful, seeing her first thing in the morning. She wears these really fancy negligees to bed, with big lace sections that everything shows through. You know. Stuff you wouldn’t want to see. Plus, even though she takes her makeup off to sleep, she still has on eyeliner, because she had it tattooed onto her eyelids back in the eighties when she went through a brief manic phase shortly after Princess Grace died (according to my mom). It looks pretty weird, seeing this little old lady in a lace nightie with big black lines around her eyes first thing in the morning.

Actually, it’s scary. Scarier than Freddy Kruger and Jason put together.

No wonder Grandpère died of a heart attack in bed. He probably rolled over one morning and got a real good look at his wife.

Somebody ought to warn the president she’s here. I mean it; he really ought to know. Because if anybody could start World War III, it’s my grandmother.