The Princess Diaries (The Princess Diaries 1)

Adult

Mature

Be happier

Achieve self-actualization

Buy: trash bags

napkins

conditioner

tuna

toilet paper!!!!

More Tuesday, Algebra

Oh my God. I can’t even believe this. But it must be true, since Shameeka just told me.

Lilly has a date to the Cultural Diversity Dance this weekend.

Lilly has a date. Even Lilly has a date. I thought all the boys in our school were terrified of Lilly.

But there’s one boy who’s not:

Boris Pelkowski.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

More Tuesday, English

No boy will ever ask me out. Ever. EVERYONE has a date to the Cultural Diversity Dance: Shameeka, Lilly, Ling Su, Tina Hakim Baba. I’m the only one not going. The ONLY ONE.

Why was I born under such an unlucky star? Why did I have to be cursed with such freakishness? Why? WHY???

I would give anything if, instead of being a five-foot-nine flat-chested princess, I could be a five-foot-six normal person with breasts.

ANYTHING.

Satire—employs humor systematically for the purpose of persuasion

Irony—counter to expectation

Parody—close imitation that exaggerates ridiculous or objectionable features

More Tuesday, French

Today in G & T, in between showing me how to carry over, Michael Moscovitz complimented me on my handling of what he called the Weinberger Incident. I was surprised he’d heard about it. He said it was all over school, about how I’d decimated Lana in front of Josh. He said, “Your locker is right next to Josh’s, isn’t it?”

I said yes it was.

He said, “That must be awkward,” but I told him actually it wasn’t, since Lana seems to be avoiding that area lately, and Josh never talks to me at all, except to say, “Can I get by here?” once in a while.

I asked him if Lilly was still saying mean things about me, and he said, all taken aback, “She’s never said mean things about you. She just doesn’t understand why you blew up at her like that.”

I said, “Michael, she’s always putting me down! I just couldn’t take it anymore. I have too many other problems without having friends who aren’t supportive of me.”