Besides, what does it even matter what I say to him? My heart belongs to another.
This response was extremely dissatisfying to Tina.
“The least you can do,” she said, “is get his e-mail address for me. I mean, not everyone is in as an emotionally satisfying romantic relationship as you are, Mia.”
Ever since she started going out with him, Tina’s boyfriend, Dave, has shied away from commitment, saying that a man can’t let himself get tied down before the age of sixteen. So even though Tina claims Dave is her Romeo in cargo pants, she has been keeping her eyes open for a nice boy willing to make a commitment. Although I think Prince William is too old for her. I suggested she try for Will’s little brother, Harry, who I hear is actually very cute as well, but Tina said then she’d never get to be queen, a sentiment I guess I can understand, although believe me, being royal loses a lot of its glamour once it actually happens to you.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll do my best to get Prince William’s e-mail address for you. But I do have other things on my mind, Tina. Like for instance that there is a distinct possibility that Michael only likes me as a friend.”
“What?” Tina was shocked. “But I thought you said he used the L word the night of the Nondenominational Winter Dance!”
“He did,” I said. “Only he didn’t say he was in love with me. He just said he loved me.”
Fortunately I didn’t have to explain any further. Tina has read enough romance novels to know exactly what I was getting at.
“Guys don’t say the word love unless they mean it, Mia,” she said. “I know. Dave never uses it with me.” There was a throb of pain in her voice.
“Yes, I know,” I said, sympathetically. “But the question is, how did Michael mean it? I mean, Tina, I’ve heard him say he loves his dog. But he is notin love with his dog.”
“I guess I can see what you mean,” Tina said, though she sounded kind of doubtful. “So, what are you going to do?”
“That’s why I called you!” I said. “I mean, do you think I should just ask him?”
Tina let out a cry of pain. I thought it was because she’d jiggled her sprained ankle, but really it was because she was so horrified by what I’d asked.
“Of course you can’t just come out and ask him!” she cried. “You can’t put him on the spot like that. You’ve got to be more subtle. Remember, he’s Michael, which of course makes him vastly superior to most guys… but he’s still a guy.”
I hadn’t thought of this. I hadn’t thought of a lot of things, apparently. I couldn’t believe that I had just been going along on this sea of bliss, happy just to know Michael even liked me, while the whole time, he could have been falling in love with some other, more intellectually or athletically gifted girl.
“Well,” I said. “Maybe I should just be like, ‘Do you like me as a friend, or do you like me as a girlfriend?’”
“Mia,” Tina said. “I really do not think you should ask Michael point-blank like that. He might run away in fear, like a startled fawn. Boys have a tendency to do that, you know. They aren’t like us. They don’t like to talk about their feelings.”
It is just so sad that to get any kind of trustworthy advice about men, I have to call someone eight thousand miles away. Thank God for Tina Hakim Baba, is all I have to say.
“So what do you think I should do?” I asked.
“Well, it’s going to be hard for you to do anything,” Tina said, “until you get back here. The only way to tell what a boy is feeling is to look into his eyes. You’ll never get anything out of him over the phone. Boys are no good at talking on the phone.”
This was certainly true, if my ex-boyfriend Kenny had been any sort of indication.
“I know,” Tina said, sounding like she’d just gotten a good idea. “Why don’t you ask Lilly?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’d feel kind of funny about dragging her into something that’s between Michael and me—” The truth was, Lilly and I still hadn’t really even talked about me liking her brother, and her brother liking me back. I had always thought she’d be kind of mad about it. But then it turned out in the end she actually kind of helped us get together, by telling Michael I was the one who’d been sending him those anonymous love letters.
“Just ask her,” Tina said.
“But it’s really late there,” I said.
“Late? It’s only, like, nine o’clock in Florida!”
“Yeah, and that’s what time Lilly and Michael’s grandparents go to bed. I don’t want to call and wake them up. Then they’ll hate me forever.” And it will make things uncomfortable at the wedding. I didn’t say this part out loud. Although probably I could have, and Tina would have understood.
“They won’t care if you wake them up, Mia,” Tina said. “You’re calling from a different time zone. They’ll understand. And be sure to call me back after you talk to her! I want to know what she says.”
I have to admit that, as I dialed, my fingers were shaking. Not so much because I was afraid of waking up Mr. and Mrs. Moscovitz and having them hate me for it forever, but because there was a chance Michael might answer. What was I going to say if he did? I had no idea. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was not going to say, “Do you like me as a friend, or do you like me as a girlfriend?” Because Tina had told me not to.
Lilly answered on the first ring. Our conversation went like this: