THE ICE WORM
by Mia Thermopolis
Everyone knows about the endangered habitat of the polar bear, penguin, arctic fox, and seal: glaciers. But contrary to popular opinion, glaciers do not just support life above and below the ice, but also within the ice.
Recently, scientists discovered the existence of centipede-like worms that live inside glacial ice and other chunks of ice—even mounds of methane ice on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico. These creatures, called ice worms, are one to two inches long and live off the chemosynthetic bacteria that grow on the methane, or are otherwise living symbiotically with them….*
Only 97 words. 153 to go.
HOW CAN I THINK ABOUT ICE WORMS WHEN MY BOYFRIEND HASN’T ASKED ME TO THE PROM???????
Wednesday, April 30, Health and Safety
M, why do you look like you just swallowed a sock?—L
The Bio sub caught Shameeka and me passing notes and assigned us both a 250-word paper on ice worms.
So? You should look at it as an artistic challenge. Besides, 250 words is nothing for an ace journalist like yourself. You should be able to knock that out in half an hour.
Lilly, has your brother mentioned the prom to you?
Um. What?
Prom. You know. Senior prom. The one they are holding at Maxim’s a week from this Saturday. Has he mentioned to you whether or not he’s, um, planning on asking anyone?
ANYONE? Just who do you mean by ANYONE? His DOG?
You know what I mean.
Michael does not discuss things like the prom with me, Mia. Mainly what Michael discusses with me is whether or not it is my turn to empty the dishwasher, set the table, or take the wadded up tissues down the hall to the incinerator chute after Mom and Dad’s Adult Survivors of Childhood Alien Abduction group-therapy meetings.
Oh. Well, I was just wondering.
Don’t worry, Mia. If Michael’s going to ask anyone to the prom, it will be you.
What do you mean IF Michael’s going to ask anyone to the prom?
I meant WHEN, okay, what is WITH you?
Nothing. Only that Michael is my one true love and he’s graduating and so if we don’t go to the prom this year I’ll never get to go. Unless we go when I’M a senior, but that won’t be for THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!! And besides, by that time Michael might be in graduate school. He might have a beard or something!!!!! You can’t go to the prom with someone who has a BEARD.
I can see that you’re very emotional about this. Are you premenstrual or something?
NO!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO THE PROM WITH MY BOYFRIEND BEFORE HE GRADUATES AND/OR GROWS EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF FACIAL HAIR!!!!!!!!! IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT??????
Whoa. You fully need to take a Midol. And rather than asking me whether or not I think my brother is going to ask you to the prom, I think you should ask YOURSELF something, and that’s why a completely outdated, pagan dance ritual is so important to you.
It’s just important to me, okay????
Is this because of that time your mom wouldn’t buy you the Prom Queen Glamour Gown for your Barbie, and you had to make your own out of toilet paper?
HELLO!!!! Lilly, I would think that you might have noticed that the prom plays a key role in the socialization process of the adolescent. I mean, look at all the movies that have been made about it:
MOVIES THAT FEATURE THE PROM
AS PROMINENT PLOT DEVICE
by Mia Thermopolis