Pretty in Pink: Will Molly Ringwald go to the prom with the cute rich boy or the poor weird boy? Whichever one she goes with, does she really think he’s going to like that hideous pink potato sack of a dress she makes?
10 Things I Hate About You: Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger. Was there ever a more perfect couple? I think not. It just takes the prom to prove it to them.
Valley Girl: Nicolas Cage’s first starring role in a movie ever, and he plays a punk rocker who crashes a suburban mall rat’s prom. Who will she ride home with in the limo: the guy with the Members Only jacket, or the guy with the Mohawk? What happens at the prom will decide it.
Footloose: Who can forget Kevin Bacon in the immortal role of Ren, convincing the kids in the town with the No Dancing ordinance to rent a place outside the city limits so they can assert their independence by tripping the light fantastique to Kenny Loggins?
She’s All That: Rachael Leigh Cook has to go to the prom in order to prove that she is not as big a nerd as everyone thinks she is. And then it turns out she actually is, but— and this is the best part of the whole thing—Freddie Prinze Jr. loves her anyway!!!!!
Never Been Kissed: Girl reporter Drew Barrymore goes undercover to crash a masquerade prom! Her friends dress as a strand of DNA, but Drew knows better and wins the heart of the teacher she loves by dressing as— what else—a princess (oh, okay, Rosalind. But it looks like a princess costume).
And last but not least:
Back to the Future: If Michael J. Fox doesn’t get his parents together by the prom, he might not ever be BORN!!!!!!!!! Proving the importance of the prom from both a societal as well as a BIOLOGICAL point of view!
What about Carrie? Or do you not count buckets of pig blood as essential to the adolescent socialization process?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!!!!!!
Okay, okay, calm down, I get your point.
You’re just jealous because Boris can’t ask you because he’s still just a freshman like us!
I am making sure you get some protein at lunch because I think your vegetarianism has finally short-circuited your brain cells. You need meat, now.
Why are you minimalizing my pain? I have a legitimate concern here, and I think you need to consider the fact that it has nothing to do with my diet or menstrual cycle.
I seriously think you need to lie down with your feet above your head to get the blood flowing back into your brain, because you are suffering from severe cognitive impairme
nt.
Lilly, SHUT UP! I am way stressed right now! I mean, tomorrow is my fifteenth birthday, and I am still nowhere close to becoming self-actualized. Nothing is going right in my life: My father is insisting that I spend July and August with him in Genovia; my home life is completely unsatisfactory, what with my pregnant mother’s incessant references to her bladder and her insistence on giving birth to my future brother or sister at home, in the LOFT, with only a midwife—a midwife!— in attendance; my boyfriend is graduating from high school and starting college, where he will constantly be thrust into the presence of large-busted coeds in black turtlenecks who like to talk about Kant; and my best friend doesn’t seem to understand why the prom is important to me!!!!!!!!!!!
You forgot to complain about your grandmother.
No, I didn’t. Grandmère has been in Palm Springs having a chemical face peel. She won’t be back until tonight.
Mia, I thought you prided yourself on the fact that you and Michael had this open and honest relationship. Why don’t you just ask him if he plans on going?
I CAN’T DO THAT! I mean, then it will sound like I am asking him to ask me.
No, it won’t.
Yes, it will.
No, it won’t.
Yes, it will.
No, it won’t. And not all coeds have large breasts. You really ought to speak to a mental health specialist about this absurd fixation you have with the size of your chest. It’s not healthy.
Oh, there’s the bell, THANK GOD!!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 30, Gifted and Talented
IT IS NOT FAIR. I mean, I know my friends have more important things on their minds than the prom—Michael is busy with graduation and Skinner Box, his band; Lilly’s got her TV show which, even if it is still only on the public access channel, continues to break new ground in television news journalism every week; Tina’s still looking for a guy to replace her ex, Dave Farouq El-Abar, in her heart; Shameeka’s got cheerleading; and Ling Su has Art Club and all.
But HELLO!!!!!!! Isn’t ANYONE thinking about the prom? ANYONE AT ALL, besides me and Shameeka??? I mean, it is next week, and Michael hasn’t asked me yet. NEXT WEEK!!!! Shameeka is right, if we are going, we really have to start planning for it now.