Only how am I supposed to ask Michael whether or not he is planning on asking me? You can’t do that. That fully ruins the romance of the thing. I mean, it’s bad enough that my own mother was the one who had to propose when she found out she was pregnant. When I asked her how Mr. G popped the question, my mom said he didn’t. She said the conversation went like this:
Helen Thermopolis:
Frank, I’m pregnant.
Mr. Gianini:
Oh. Okay. What do you want to do?
Helen Thermopolis:
Marry you.
Mr. Gianini:
Okay.
HELLO!!!!!!!!! Where is the romance in THAT????
“Frank, I’m pregnant, let’s get married.” “Okay.” AAAAACKKKK!!!!
How about:
Helen Thermopolis:
Frank, the seed from your loins has sprung to fruition in my womb.
Mr. Gianini:
Helen, I have never heard such joyous news in all of my thirty-seven years. Will you do me the very great honor of becoming my bride, my soul mate, my life partner?
Helen Thermopolis:
Yes, my sweet protector.
Mr. Gianini:
My life! My hope! My love!(KISS)
That’s how it SHOULD have gone. Look at the difference. It is so much better when the guy asks the girl instead of the girl asking the guy.
So obviously, I can’t just walk up to Michael and be all:
Mia Thermopolis:
So are we going to the prom or what? ’Cause I need to buy my dress.
Michael Moscovitz:
Okay.
NO!!!!!!!!! That will never work!!!!!!! Michael has to ask ME. He has to be all:
Michael Moscovitz:
Mia, the past five months have been the most magical of my life. Being with you is like having a refreshing ocean breeze blowing constantly against my passion-fevered brow. You are my sole reason for living, the purpose for which my heart beats. It would be the greatest honor of my life if I could escort you to the senior prom, where, you must promise, you will dance every single dance with me, except the fast ones that we will sit down during, because they are lame.
Mia Thermopolis: