Oh, Michael! My sweet protector!
WHY WON’T YOU TAKE ME TO YOUR PROM??????????????????????????????
Tuesday, May 6, 3 a.m.
I still can’t believe the nerve of her. I have learned A LOT about writing from watching movies. For instance:
VALUABLE TIPS THAT I, MIA THERMOPOLIS,
HAVE LEARNED ABOUT WRITING
FROM THE MOVIES
Aspen Extreme: T.J. Burke moves to Aspen to become a ski instructor, but really he just wants to write. When he is done penning his touching tribute to his dead friend Dex, he puts it in an envelope and sends it to Powder magazine. A hot-air balloon and two swans fly by. Then you see a mail carrier put a copy of Powder magazine in T.J.’s mailbox. On the cover is a blurb about T.J.’s story! It’s that easy to get published!
Wonder Boys: Always keep a backup disk.
Little Women: Ditto.
Moulin Rouge: When writing a play, do not fall in love with your leading lady. Especially if she has consumption. Also, don’t drink anything green offered to you by a midget.
The Bell Jar: Don’t let your mother read your book until after it’s published (when there’s nothing she can do about it).
Adaptation: Never trust a twin.
Isn’t She Great: The Jacqueline Susann Story : Publishers don’t actually mind if you turn in a manuscript written on pink stationery. Also, sex sells.
How DARE Lilly suggest I’ve wasted my time watching TV?
And if I happen to choose a career in the medical profession, I am still golden, because I have seen practically every episode of ER ever made.
Not to mention M*A*S*H.
Tuesday, May 6,
Horrible day so far, in every way:
Mr. G gave us a pop quiz in Algebra that I flunked because I was too worked up over the whole Boris/Lilly/prom thing last night to study. You would think my own stepfather would be kind enough to drop me a hint or two when he’s going to give a pop quiz. But apparently this would violate some teacher code of ethics. As if. What about the stepfather code of ethics? Anyone ever thought about THAT?
Shameeka and I got caught passing notes again. Have to write a thousand-word essay on effects of global warming on ecosystems of South America.
I had no one to be my partner on the diseases and disorders project we are doing in Health and Safety because Lilly and I aren’t speaking. She is doing the full-on avoidance thing. She even took the subway to school today instead of riding with Michael and me in the limo. Not that I mind.
Plus, when we drew disorders, I got Asperger’s syndrome. Why couldn’t I have gotten a cool disease, like Ebola? It is so unfair, especially as I am now considering a career in the health field.
At lunch I accidentally ate some sausage that was mistakenly baked into my supposedly cheese-only Individual Pizza. Also, Boris spent the whole period writing Lilly over and over again on his violin case. Lilly didn’t even show at lunch. Hopefully she and Jangbu hopped a plane back to Nepal and won’t be bothering any of us anymore. Michael says he doesn’t think so, though. He says he thinks she had another press conference.
Michael did not change his mind about the prom. Not that I brought it up, or anything. Just that I happened to be walking with him past the table where Lana and the rest of the prom committee are selling tickets, and Michael went, “Sucka,” under his breath when he saw the guy who hates it when they put corn in the chili buying prom tickets for himself and his girlfriend.
Even the guy who hates it when they put corn in the chili is going to the prom. Everyone in the whole world is going to the prom. Except for me.
Lilly still isn’t back from wherever it is she went off to before lunch. Which is probably just as well. I don’t think Boris could take it if she walked in here right now.
He found some Wite-Out in the supply closet, and he is using it to make little curlicues around Lilly’s name on his violin case. I want to shake him and go, “Snap out of it! She’s not worth it!”
But I’m afraid it might loosen his stitches.
Plus Mrs. Hill, clearly due to yesterday’s events, is fully sitting at her desk, flipping through Garnet Hill catalogs and keeping an eagle eye on us. I bet she got in trouble over the whole violin-virtuoso-globe-dropping thing. Principal Gupta is really very strict about bloodshed on school grounds.