Party Princess (The Princess Diaries 7)

And she was like, “You look like crap. What, did you not get any sleep last night or something? Your grandmother is going to kill you. We have dress rehearsal tonight.”

So obviously, she doesn’t know that I know about her parents. It’s possible that Michael was wrong, and Lilly herself doesn’t even know about them. Not really.

Unless she’s actually as fine an actress as she thinks she is.

Which means I can’t tell her why I look like crap. I mean, Lilly would only SLIGHTLY kill me for knowing her parents are splitting up before SHE even knows her parents are splitting up. Besides, Michael asked me to keep it to myself.

I guess I could tell her that I think Michael and I are breaking up on account of my sexy dance with J.P.

But isn’t that just a little more than she should have to deal with right now? I mean, if she DOES know about her parents? Is it really fair for me to expect her to cope with their breakup AS WELL AS mine? If that’s even what’s going on with Michael and me?

No. No, it is not.

So instead of telling her the truth, I just went, “I don’t know. I think I’m getting a cold.”

“Bummer,” Lilly said. And then she told me how she’d gotten almost twenty of her ’zines completely collated and stapled. Only nine hundred and eighty to go. Because, of course, Lilly thinks every single person in the entire school is going to buy one.

I didn’t bother to contradict her. For one thing, I feel totally empty inside, so it’s not like I even care.

And for another, she was totally mean to me when I asked her, AGAIN, to pull “No More Corn!” She was like, “Where would we be today if Woodward and Bernstein had asked the Post to pull their story on Watergate? Huh? Where would we be?”

But breaking the Watergate scandal is COMPLETELY different than “No More Corn!” One thing was going to bring down a presidency. The other is going to hurt someone’s feelings. Which is more important?

Whatever. Lilly was just like, “Your piece is the COVER STORY. It’s right there, under Fat Louie’s Pink Butthole. ‘A short story by AEHS’s own princess, Mia Thermopolis.’ I can’t PULL it, not without having to redo the COVER, not to mention the table of contents. I’d have to redesign the cover, then print it, then photocopy a thousand pages ALL OVER AGAIN. I’m NOT doing it. I’m just NOT.”

I told her I’d help her with the photocopying. But she just shook her head.

I can’t believe she’s willing to hurt a friend just because she’s too lazy to stand at the Xerox machine a little longer. And after all the things I’ve done for her, too. Like protecting her fragile mental state from the truth about her parents, and possibly Michael and me.

Sheesh.

Tuesday, March 9, Homeroom

I still can’t believe it. I mean, it’s like Wilma and Fred Flintstone splitting. Or Homer and Marge Simpson. Or Lana Weinberger and Josh Richter.

Well, except I wasn’t bummed when THEY split up.

COUPLES YOU WOULD BE

TOTALLY BUMMED TO FIND OUT

WERE BREAKING UP:

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos

Scooby Doo and Shaggy

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels

Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa

Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman