Sweet Sixteen Princess (The Princess Diaries 7.50)

“Mia’s right,” Tina said. “Although…I’ve always wanted to see Destiny’s Child in concert.”

“And I’ve always wanted to see the art collection at the Genovian palace,” said Ling Su, a little wistfully.

“I could totally use a makeover,” Perin said. “Maybe then people would stop thinking I’m a boy.”

“You guys!” I was shocked. “You can’t be serious! You’d want to let yourselves be filmed doing all that stuff? And have it be shown on MTV?”

Tina, Ling Su, Perin, and Boris looked at one another. Then they looked at me, and shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Admit it, Mia,” Lilly said angrily. “This doesn’t have anything to do with you being afraid of looking selfish on TV. It has to do with you still holding what happened at your party last year against me.” Lilly’s lips got as small as—maybe even smaller than—my mom’s had, the night before. “And so you’re going to make everybody here suffer for it.”

Silence roared across the lunch table after Lilly dropped this little bombshell. Boris suddenly didn’t seem to know where to look, and so settled for staring at the leftover buffalo bites on his tray. Tina turned red and reached for her Diet Coke, sucking very noisily on the straw sticking out of it.

Or maybe her sucking just seemed noisy, compared to how quiet everyone had gotten.

Except of course for J. P., who, out of everyone there, was the only person who had no idea what Lilly had done at my fifteenth birthday party. Even Perin knew, having been filled in about it by Shameeka during a particularly boring French class. In French, no less.

“Wait,” J. P. said. “What happened at Mia’s party last year?”

“Something,” Lilly said fiercely, her eyes very bright behind her contacts, “that’s never going to happen again.”

“Okay,” J. P. said. “But what was it? And why does Mia still hold it against you?”

But Lilly didn’t say anything. Instead, she scooted her chair back and ran—pretty melodramatically, if you ask me—to the ladies’ room.

I didn’t go after her. Neither did Tina. Instead, Ling Su did, saying, with a sigh, “I guess it’s my turn, anyway.”

The bell rang right after that. As we were picking up our trays to take them back to the jet line, J. P. turned to me and asked, “So are you ever going to tell me what that was all about?”

But, remembering what Tina had said about the volcano of passion, I shook my head. Because I don’t want him exploding all over ME.

Friday, April 30,

between lunch and G&T

At least Michael is on my side about it. The party thing, I mean. Because when I called him just now on my cell (even though, technically, this was not an emergency) to tell him what Grandmère had planned, he said, “When you say transcontinental slumber party, do you mean that we’d get to sleep in the same room?”

To which I replied, “Most assuredly not.”

“And you haven’t changed your mind about having sex with me now?” Michael asked. “As opposed to after your senior prom?”

“I think you would have been the first to know if I had,” I said, blushing deeply, as I always do when this topic comes up.

“Oh,” Michael said. “Well, then I’m on your side.”

“But, Michael,” I said, just to make sure I understood. Communication between couples is so important, as we all know from Dr. Phil. “Don’t you want to go jet-skiing and see Destiny’s Child?”

“Jet skis are really harmful to the environment, being far more polluting than other two-stroke motors, not to mention that marine mammal experts have testified that personal watercraft activity near seals, sea lions, and elephant seals disturbs normal rest and social interaction, and causes stampedes into the water

that can separate seal pups from adult mothers,” Michael said. “And, no offense, but Destiny’s Child is a girl band.”

“Michael,” I said, shocked. “Don’t be sexist!”

“I’m not saying they aren’t immensely talented, not to mention sexy as hell,” Michael said. “But let’s face it: Only girls like to listen to them.”

“I guess you’re right,” I admitted.

“But you should let the people who love you throw some kind of party for you,” Michael said. “Not necessarily on MTV, but you know…something. Turning sixteen is a big deal. And it’s not like you had a bat mitzvah or anything.”