Princess on the Brink (The Princess Diaries 8)

Well, he DID go to her place in Albany that weekend.

Whatever, that was just because his parents were checking out some summer stock companies upstate! If they’d Done It, she’d have told us. I mean, don’t you think she’d have told us?

She’d have told you, maybe. She’d never tell ME. Lilly thinks I’m a goody-two-shoes.

She does not!!!!

Yes, she does. But that’s okay. I AM a goody-two-shoes. I don’t even want to SEE It. Let alone Touch It. Could you imagine having one? I’d die. Do you think Lilly’s touched J.P.’s?

NO WAY!!!! She’d have told me. I mean, it’s true I haven’t seen her since I got back from Genovia for the summer. But still. She’d have told me if she’d…you know. At least I think so…

She touched Boris’s.

WHAT????? Also AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT??????

Well, I didn’t want to know either!!!! Boris told me!!!!

WHY DID HE TELL YOU THAT????

Because of that book my aunt gave me—you know, Your Precious Gift.

Oh, right.

That one about how your virginity is a precious gift you should only give to the person you marry, because you can only give it once, and you don’t want to give it to someone who won’t value it.

Yeah. Only the book doesn’t say anything about what you’re supposed to do if after you marry the person you find out that he’s gay, something you might have known before you went to all the expense of a wedding if you hadn’t waited. But whatever. Boris saw thee book on my shelf and was worried I might be upset that Lilly had touched it before I did. Even though he’s still, you know. A virgin. It was just touching.

Did she touch it OVER or UNDER the pants?

Under.

I’m sorry, Tina. I know Boris is your boyfriend. But I am totally going to throw up now.

I know. Let’s face it, Mia. You and I are going to be the Last Virgins at Albert Einstein High.

Wow. That sounds like the title of a book.

You should totally write it!!!! THE LAST VIRGINS.

—Two girls cursed with Israeli-trained bodyguards, paid by their fathers to protect their daughters’ precious gifts…with their lives!

No man shall know them—UNTIL PROM NIGHT!!!!

Oops, Sperry’s looking this way. I guess we should pay attention. Do you have any idea what she’s talking about?

Who cares? This is way more interesting.

Totally. So…you really think she’s touched J.P.’s, too?

I already told you! I think they full-on Did It!

No. She’d have told me. Don’t you think she’d have told me?

You’re the one who’s known her since first grade or whatever. Only you would know the answer to that. But she IS blond now.

Hey! I’m blond! And I still have my Precious Gift!

Oh, yeah. Sorry. I forgot.