Wait—are you being sarcastic?
Yes, I’m being sarcastic. My dad is never going to let me go to Japan, Tina. Not to see Michael.
Well, then get him to let you go to visit the princess of Japan—you’re friends with her, right? I mean, you really like her kid. And then while you’re there, you can see Michael.
Thanks, Tina. It doesn’t actually work that way, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Because whenever I get time off from school, I have to go to Genovia. Remember? Besides, the truth is, even if I went to Japan, I’m not so sure Michael would want to see me.
What? Of course he would! What are you talking about?
He’s not JUST going for his robotic arm thingie. He’s also going to get away from me.
What? That’s crazy! What makes you think THAT?
Because he SAID so. He said it’s really hard to be around me so much and not…you know.
Oh. My. God. That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard in my life!!!!!!!!!!
TINA!!! It is not romantic!!!!
He LOOOOOOVES you! You should be GLAD!!!
Glad that my boyfriend is moving to another country because he’s tired of taking so many cold showers? Yeah. Right.
You’re being sarcastic again, aren’t you?
Yes.
Mia, don’t you see? The whole thing is SOOOO romantic: Michael is just like Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings. Remember when Aragorn was all in love with Arwen, but he didn’t feel worthy of her, because she was an elfin princess, and her dad wouldn’t let him marry her until he’d reclaimed his throne and proved he was more than just some mortal guy?
Um. Yeah.
MICHAEL IS RECLAIMING HIS THRONE SO HE CAN PROVE HE IS WORTHY OF YOU!!!!! JUST LIKE ARAGORN. And, okay, he’s doing it by inventing something none of us understand except him. But that doesn’t matter. He’s DOING IT FOR YOU.
And the thousands of people whose lives might be saved by it. And the millions of dollars he could potentially make if it works.
But don’t you see? All of that is part of what he’s doing FOR YOU.
But I don’t care about any of that stuff, Tina. I mean, I want him to be happy, and all. But I would be happier if he’d just stay here so I could smell his neck every day!!!!
Well, you might have to sacrifice neck-smellage for a while in order for Michael to find self-actualization. I mean, in the long run, what he’s doing now will guarantee you constant neck-smellage in the future. If he becomes a millionaire, or whatever, there’s NO WAY your grandma or anyone else could stand in the way of the two of you being together, because you could just run off with him, even if you get cut off from your Genovian fortune or your dad makes you abdicate the throne, or whatever. See?
I guess. I just don’t see why he can’t achieve self-actualization here in AMERICA.
I don’t know either. But I do know that Michael loves you, and that’s all that matters!!!!!!!
Everything is so simple in Tinaland. I so wish I lived there instead of here, in the cruel, cold real world.
Wednesday, September 8, French
The thing is, deep down, I know Tina is right.
But I just can’t get as enthusiastic about it as she is. Maybe because Aragorn, even though he was faithful to Arwen while he was off finding himself and all, still had that thing going on with Eowyn. Whatever that was.
What’s to keep Michael from having the same kind of thing with some brilliant Japanese geisha/robotics engineer?
La speakerine de la chaine douze a dit, “Maintenant, vraies croyantes, un petit film—le premier film d’une serie de six. Mesdames, voici le film que vous avez attendu pour des semaines. Un film remarkable, un film qui a changé ma vie et la vie d’autres femmes tout le monde. Oui, Le Mérite Incroyable d’une Femme.”
61+56=117