Princess on the Brink (The Princess Diaries 8)

Yes, Kenny. It’s true. Although we are not breaking up!!!

That is SO COOL. Do you think he’d consider hiring me—you know, when he gets back—as, like, an intern or something? Because I’ve always been fascinated by robotics, and have actually been tinkering with a design for an orbital rotor for a robotic scalpel. Do you think he could use me? I assume he’ll be hiring his friends.

Oh. So, it’s not me he wants after all…well, that’s a relief.

Kenny, you KNOW about this robotic surgery stuff?

Um, of course. And it isn’t “stuff,” Mia, it’s really the new frontier in robotic science. Robotic surgical systems are already being installed in hospitals around the globe. The ultimate goal of the robotic field is to design a system that will do exactly what Michael’s prototype does. If he can build a model that actually operates as it’s supposed to in a surgical setting…well, let’s just say there won’t have been as ground-shaking a development in science since Lucy the cloned sheep. Michael will be hailed as a genius…no, more than just a genius. Perhaps even a MEDICAL SAVIOR.

Oh. Well. Thanks for clarifying that for me. I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you to Michael.

Sweet. Thanks!

Mia—You okay? You hardly touched your falafel at lunch.

God, J.P. is so sweet! I can’t believe he noticed!

I’m fine. I guess.

I don’t imagine Boris pontificating on orchestral dalliances he has seen helped very much.

Yeah, not so much. It’s just…what’s a medical savior going to want to have to do with ME? I mean, I’m just a PRINCESS. Anybody can be a princess. All you have to do is have the right parents. It’s no harder than being born Paris Hilton, for God’s sake.

At least you remember to put on underwear in the morning, I’m assuming.

Is that supposed to be helping?

Sorry. I thought the situation called for a little levity. Bad miscalculation on my part. Mia, you’re wonderful in and of yourself. You know that. You’re a lot more than just a princess. In fact, I would say that’s the tiniest part of you, not what DEFINES you.

But I haven’t DONE anything. I mean, not anything great that people are going to remember me by. Except be a princess, which, as I mentioned, isn’t something I actively DID, I just got born that way.

You’re only sixteen. Cut yourself some slack.

But Michael’s only nineteen and he may be saving thousands of people’s lives, like, next year. If I’m going to do something great someday, I need to get started NOW.

I thought you were going to write a screenplay of your life and Lilly was going to direct it.

Yeah, but what have I done in my LIFE that will make the screenplay meaningful? Like, I haven’t saved hundreds of Jews from annihilation by the Nazi scourge, or gone blind and yet gone on to write beautiful music.

I think holding yourself to the standards set by Oskar Schindler and Stevie Wonder is a bit unrealistic.

But don’t you see? MICHAEL is setting that kind of standard.

But Michael loves you, just the way you are! So what are you worried about? You can be a great person just for being a good friend or a terrific writer or humorous to be around, you know.

I guess. It’s just that he’s probably going to be meeting a lot of brilliant, beautiful girls in Japan, and how do I know he’s not going to fall for one of THEM?

He’s probably met lots of brilliant, beautiful girls at Columbia, and he hasn’t fallen for any of them, has he?

Well, no. But that’s just because, even though they’re all brilliant, they all look like Judith Gershner.

Who’s Judith Gershner?

She’s this girl who used to go here who could clone fruit flies and who I thought Michael liked and—You know what? Never mind. You’re right. I’m being ridiculous.

I didn’t say you were being ridiculous. I said you were being too hard on yourself. You’re a great person, and if in the unlikely event Michael were ever to imply otherwise, I will happily kick his ass for you.

Ha. Thanks. But that’s what I have Lars for.