Princess on the Brink (The Princess Diaries 8)

HRHMIAT: HE DIDN’T EVEN LOVE HER!!!!!!!!

TINAHAKIMBABA: Lots of times in romance novels the hero has had meaningless sex with women B4 he meets the heroine.

HRHMIAT: WITH JUDITH GERSHNER?????

TINAHAKIMBABA: Well, no. But it just makes it MORE meaningful when he and the heroine finally Do It. Bcuz sex is so much better when u luv the person.

HRHMIAT: I CAN’T BLIEVE U R DEFENDING HIM!!!! He said he was going to Japan even if we DID IT!!!!

TINAHAKIMBABA: I think U R right to B mad. But did U really break up?????

HRHMIAT: I gave him back his snowflake necklace.

TINAHAKIMBABA: MIA!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HRHMIAT: TINA, HE LIED 2 ME!!!!

TINAHAKIMBABA: No, he didn’t! He DID tell U. Eventually.

HRHMIAT: That is not the point. The point is JUDITH GERSHNER GOT 2 TOUCH IT B4 I DID!!!!

TINAHAKIMBABA: Lilly got 2 touch it b4 I did.

HRHMIAT: BUT SHE IS UR FRIEND!!!!! Besides, Boris and Lilly did not go ALL THE WAY. And Boris is not moving to Japan and leaving you alone for a year. Or MORE!!!!

TINAHAKIMBABA: True. Oh, Mia. I’m so sorry. I’ve g2g, my dad says I’ve reached my limit in text messages this month—ttyl!

Tina’s so sweet. She risked her dad’s wrath to text me in my hour of need. She’s a good and true friend.

Speaking of which…how am I ever going to face Lilly in the morning? I can’t.

I just can’t.

ME, A PRINCESS???? YEAH, RIGHT.

A Screenplay by Mia Thermopolis

(first draft)

Scene 24

INT/NIGHT—A large, comfortably furnished rent-controlled apartment on New York City’s Fifth Avenue, off Union Square. A newly madeover MIA THERMOPOLIS has just entered through the front door. Her best friend, LILLY MOSCOVITZ, a slightly chubby, pug-faced girl, is staring at her incredulously.

LILLY

Oh my God, what happened to you?

MIA

(taking off her coat, trying to be casual)

Yeah, well, my grandmother made me go see this guy, Paolo, and he—

LILLY

(in state of shock)

Your hair is the same color as Lana Weinberger’s.