Princess on the Brink (The Princess Diaries 8)

s of people will die who might not otherwise if you had just let him go?

Ouch, Tina. That really hurt.

I mean, I’m just saying that’s what LILLY would say. I don’t really BELIEVE that. At least, not very much. Michael is a very resourceful person. I’m sure he’ll find a way to make his robotic surgical arm here. It’s just that…did I mention my dad is on medication now for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and his doctor says if he doesn’t cut back his red meat intake, he’s a prime candidate for bypass surgery?

Well, tell your mom to stop letting him order so much orange beef from Wu Liang Ye.

Yeah. I will. Oh, Mia! This is so exciting! You’re going to be the first one in our group to give up her Precious Gift! Except Lilly, of course, if she and J.P. really Did It over summer break.

And you’re sure you don’t hate me for it? I mean, that I’m not waiting until the night of our senior prom, like we agreed?

Oh, Mia, of course not. I understand that there are mitigating circumstances. I mean, if Boris was offered first chair in some orchestra in Australia and was seriously considering going, I would do the exact same thing. Except, of course, Boris playing first chair at the Sydney Philharmonic isn’t going to save anybody’s life, let alone prove himself worthy to a nation over which I might one day rule.

Thanks, Tina. I really mean that. Your support means a lot to me.

That’s what I’m here for!

Really, could there BE a better friend than Tina Hakim Baba? I don’t think so.

Okay, so:

LIST OF THINGS TO DO BEFORE HAVING SEX:

Get contraceptive sponges

Shave underarms/legs

Shave bikini area????

Find fancy lingerie (Do I OWN any fancy lingerie? Oh, there’s that lavender silk teddy and tap pants from La Perla Grandmère got me for my birthday. They still have the tags on them. I hope I don’t get a rash from wearing them without washing them first.)

Deodorant

Check for unsightly blackheads

Ditch Lars (Easy. I will just tell him I am going to Michael’s apartment for the evening and that he can come back and pick me up at eleven. Then I will make Michael sneak out down the stairs and leave through the basement of the building. Then we can take a cab up to the Ritz. Michael might get suspicious, but I can just tell him it’s part of the surprise.)

EXFOLIATE!

Jolen mustache

Feed Fat Louie

Thursday, September 9, Lunch

So today when I got to the caf I found that someone had placed, on each and every lunch table, little triangular table-toppers that had all these warnings written on them. Like the one on our table said:

WARNING:

Did you know that the single most likely to occur crisis currently facing Americans is a pandemic? With bioterrorism a real threat, and air travel as popular as it is today, deadly diseases such as avian flu and smallpox could erupt in our population at ANY time. Would YOU know what to do in the event of a bioterror attack?

PRINCESS MIA OF GENOVIA DOES.

Vote for a REAL LEADER.

Vote SMART.

Vote for Mia.