Okay, maybe not PERFECT because no one has a PERFECT relationship. I will admit the computer stuff really, really bored me.
But at least he KNEW that, and didn’t bore me with it. That much.
And I know the princess lessons stuff really bored him, too. I mean, the st
uff about who to curtsy to when, and all. So I tried to spare him, too.
But other than that, I thought we had a good relationship. An OPEN relationship. A relationship where we could TELL each other things, and didn’t have any secrets.
I had no idea Michael has been keeping something like this from me the WHOLE TIME we’ve been going out.
And his excuse—that I never asked—is BOGUS. I’m sorry, but that is just—OH MY GOD, EPHRAIN KLEINSCHMIDT, NO I DO NOT WANT ANY KLEENEX—stupid. You don’t NOT tell your girlfriend something like that, even if she never asked, because she just ASSUMED….
Although I should have known. I mean, what was I THINKING???? Michael is way too hot not to have—
Okay. Lucid. Right.
Everything was going great. At least, I THOUGHT everything was going great. The throw-up feeling had even gone away. It’s true I couldn’t eat very much—I ordered the bluefin tuna two ways with artichoke salad with fava beans and scallions and Parmesan shavings for me, and the chicken à la moutarde, fresh peas, cipollini onions, baby carrots, and pea “cappuccino” sauce for Michael, plus milk chocolate mousse to share for dessert. I was kind of worried about the scallions but I had a Listerine Pocket Pak in my bag—because I was so nervous about what I knew I was about to do.
But just BEING with Michael and in the vicinity of his neck and therefore his pheromones calmed me down so much that by the time we got to the mousse, I felt like I really could go through with it.
So I went, summoning all my courage, “Michael, remember that time my mom and Mr. G went to Indiana and I got to stay in that hotel room at the Plaza and I invited Lilly and Tina and everyone to stay there with me, and not you, and you got so mad?”
“I didn’t get mad,” Michael pointed out.
“Yeah, but you were disappointed I didn’t invite YOU to stay in it with me.”
“That,” Michael said, “is true.”
“Well, so, I have this hotel suite to myself now,” I said. “And I invited you, and not Lilly and those guys.”
“You know,” Michael said, smiling. “I’d sort of noticed that. But I didn’t want to say anything, in case the girls were coming by after dinner.”
“Why would the girls come by after dinner?”
“That was a joke. I sort of figured they weren’t. But with you it’s kind of hard to predict sometimes.”
“Oh. Well, the thing is—” And it was SOOO hard for me to say this, but I HAD to do it. What’s more, I WANTED to do it. I mean, I genuinely and truly felt like I was ready to Do It. “I know I said I wanted to wait until my senior prom for us to have sex. But I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and I really think I’m ready now. Tonight.”
Michael didn’t look as shocked as I thought he would. I think mostly because we were already eating dinner by ourselves in a hotel room. Now that I think of it, all of that might have been a bit of a giveaway.
Then he said something that completely freaked me out (I didn’t know then that it was just the FIRST of MANY things Michael was going to say that would totally freak me out): “Mia,” he said. “Are you sure about this? Because you were pretty firm on the whole prom night thing, and I don’t want you changing your mind just because I’m going away for a while and you’re afraid I might, er, hook up with a geisha girl, like you mentioned before.”
!!!!!!!!!!
Obviously, I was like, “Um…what?”
Because, let’s face it: Michael has been quite vocal in his desire for—well, me—over the past year. And the fact that he was even QUESTIONING my offer had me reeling.
Not to mention the part where he hadn’t yet thrown me down on the bed and declared that he definitely wouldn’t be going to Japan now.
“I know,” he said, looking as if he were in actual physical pain. “It’s just that…well, I don’t want this to happen for the wrong reasons. Like because you think if we do this, I’m going to change my mind about going, or something.”
So then I just sat there blinking at him, because…well, because I couldn’t believe this was happening!!!! I mean, that he was so completely willing to Do It, and then take off anyway!!!!!! It was quite clear that he believed, as Tina had, initially, that I was only offering to make sweet tender love with him so he’d have a beautiful memory to carry with him as he headed halfway across the world in order to prove himself worthy of me.
Which, excuse me, but—NO. WAY.
“Um,” I said. Because I was so confused. “No. That is not why I changed my mind about prom night. That is SO not why.”