“WHO WAS IT??????”
“God, it was Judith, okay?” Michael had stopped looking scared. Now he just looked annoyed. “What is WITH you? It didn’t mean anything, we were just messing around. It was before I even knew you liked me, so what do you care?”
“Judith?” So many thoughts were colliding into one another inside my head, it was like the inside of my brain had turned into a giant demolition derby. “Judith G
ERSHNER???? YOU HAD SEX WITH JUDITH GERSHNER???? YOU SAID YOU WERE JUST FRIENDS!!!!!!”
“We were!” Michael had stood up. So had I. We were standing across the room from each other, yelling. At least, I was yelling. Michael was just talking. “But we were friends who mess around a little.”
“You told me you weren’t going out with her! You told me she had a boyfriend!”
“I wasn’t,” he insisted. “And she did! But…”
“But WHAT?”
“But.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. We were just messing around. I TOLD YOU.”
“Oh, REALLY?” I couldn’t believe this. I could not believe that Michael and Judith Gershner had—had—I mean, I’ve HUNG OUT with Judith Gershner. Well, not HUNG OUT with her, necessarily. But TALKED to her.
And the whole time, I’d never had the slightest idea that SHE had had carnal knowledge of my boyfriend. SHE had been the recipient of his Precious Gift. Not me. NEVER ME.
Because once you’ve given your gift away, you can’t take it back and give it to someone else you might happen to like better, or even love. No. It says so right in Tina’s book. It is GONE.
GONE.
“Did JUDITH feel that way?” I heard myself yelling. “Did JUDITH think the two of you were just messing around? Or was she in love with you? Did she know she was giving you her Precious Gift just so you could turn around and start dating me?”
“First of all,” Michael said, “if you don’t stop saying Precious Gift, I’m going to hurl. Second of all, I told you, we were just messing around. Judith wasn’t in love with me and I wasn’t in love with her. I wasn’t even her first, for crying out loud!”
I felt myself blanch. “OH MY GOD. Did you use protection? What if she GAVE YOU SOMETHING?”
“She didn’t give me anything! Of course I used protection! I don’t understand what the big deal is. It’s not like I cheated on you. This was before you even sent me those anonymous love poems. I didn’t have the slightest idea you liked me. If I’d known—”
“If you’d known WHAT?” I demanded. “You wouldn’t have given your Precious Gift to Judith?”
“I told you not to call it that. But, yes, basically.”
“So it’s MY fault?” I shrieked. “It’s my fault you lost your virginity to someone other than me, because I was SHY????”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You could have told me you liked me, you know, instead of sleeping with JUDITH GERSHNER!”
“What would have been the point?” Michael demanded. “You were going out with Kenny Showalter at the time, if I recall.”
I gasped. “BUT I DIDN’T LIKE HIM!”
“How was I supposed to know that? You claim you didn’t like Josh Richter, either, but you certainly acted like you did.”
I gasped even louder. JOSH RICHTER? He had the nerve to bring up JOSH RICHTER? TO MY FACE?
“You certainly hung out with Kenny enough,” Michael went on. “I mean, for a guy you claim not to have liked. Which is fine—I don’t care, because you came to your senses in the end. But don’t get mad at me because you took your sweet time about admitting you liked me, and I didn’t wait around for you.”
“The way you’re expecting me to wait around for you while you go off to Japan and find yourself?” I yelled.
Michael looked totally confused. “This doesn’t have anything to do with my going to Japan. What are you even talking about?”
“CLARINETISTS!” I heard myself yell. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t WANT to. I was just so emotionally overwrought by everything I’d just heard, I couldn’t stop myself. Once again, my mouth was going off without my brain to back up what it was saying. “You’re going off to Japan and you just expect me to wait around alone every Saturday until you get back. Well, what if I don’t WANT to wait around alone for you? Did you ever think of THAT?”