“Um,” I said. “Is Lilly there, Dr. Moscovitz? I’m returning her call.”
“Of course, Mia,” Dr. Moscovitz said. And she called for Lilly, who picked up the phone and said, without preamble, “YOU KISSED MY BOYFRIEND????”
I stared at the phone, totally confused. “What?”
“Kenny Showalter says he saw you kiss J.P. outside your Chemistry classroom today,” Lilly snarled.
Oh, God. Oh. My. God.
The Quarter Pounder with cheese moved up my throat a little more as complete and total panic gripped me.
“Lilly,” I said. “It wasn’t—look. It wasn’t what Kenny thinks—”
“So you’re saying you DIDN’T kiss my boyfriend outside your Chemistry classroom?” Lilly demanded.
“N-no,” I stammered. “I’m not. I did kiss him. But just as a friend. And besides, technically, J.P. is your EX-boyfriend.”
“You mean like you’re technically my ex-best friend?”
I gasped. “Lilly! Come on! I told you! J.P. and I are just friends!”
“What kind of friends KISS each other?” Lilly demanded. “On the mouth?”
Oh my God.
“Lilly,” I said. “Look. We’ve both had a really bad day. Let’s not take it out on each other—”
“I haven’t had a particularly bad day,” Lilly snapped. “I mean, sure, my boyfriend dumped me. But I also got elected as the new student council president of Albert Einstein High School.”
I actually sat up upon hearing this. “You DID?”
“That’s right,” Lilly said, sounding very self-satisfied. “When you ducked out of school on account of your little tummyache, Principal Gupta said you disqualified yourself from the race.”
“Oh, Lilly,” I breathed. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Lilly said. “I asked Principal Gupta what would happen if no one ran—you know, to the student council. And she said Mrs. Hill would just have to preside over it. Well, you know how THAT would turn out: We’d be selling candles from here to Spring Break. So I asked Principal Gupta if I could run in your place, and she said, seeing as how there were no other candidates, she didn’t see why not. So I gave your speech. You know, the one about all the things people should do in the event of catastrophes? I guess I embellished a bit. Nothing TOO much. Just, you know, a few bits about supervolcanoes and asteroids…nothing major. People were too afraid NOT to vote for me. They held the vote last period. And I won. Well, over fifty percent, anyway. I KNEW this freshman class would respond to fear, and fear alone. It’s all they’ve ever known, after all.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s great, Lilly.”
“Thanks,” Lilly said. “Although I don’t know what I’m telling YOU for, since you didn’t help in any way. You are not my vice president, by the way. Perin is. I don’t need a boyfriend stealer as my vice president, OR as a friend.”
“Lilly,” I said. “I did NOT steal your boyfriend. I told you, I only kissed him because—well, I don’t know why I kissed him. I just did. But—”
“You know what, Mia?” Lilly snapped. “I don’t want to hear it. Why don’t you save it for someone who cares? Like J.P., for instance.”
“J.P. doesn’t like me that way, Lilly,” I couldn’t help snapping back. “And you know it!”
“Do I?” Lilly asked, with an evil laugh. “Well, maybe I know something you don’t know, then.”
“What are you talking about?” I demanded. “Come on, Lilly, this is stupid. We’ve been friends too long to let a GUY come between us—”
“Yeah?” Lilly said. “Well, maybe we’ve been friends long enough, then. Good-bye, POG.”
Then I heard a click. Lilly hung up on me.
I couldn’t believe it. Lilly hun
g up on me.